Law of the Playground

an archive of the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet
Uncle Mudge's Lemon Scented Twat-Wipes

Original ID   : 3288
Created On    : 2003-12-23
Last Modified : 2005-05-01


A household brand scribbled in the back of a Physics book which, upon inception, managed to throw my friend Danny into fits of tearful laughter for an hour. No-one else has ever laughed at it since.

Readers! Do you have a memory that only you find funny? Why not tell the world, so you can tell as many people who probably won’t find it funny as you possibly can?

Uncle M

“Masai Cattle”

The oft-repeated phrase that would make Nigel Burrows… and only Nigel Burrows… weep with laughter. The source of merriment was a Geography textbook photo showing a herd of the skinniest, saddest cows anyone had ever seen. The Masai, of course, use cows as currency so will own as many as possible, regardless of their near-death condition.

Cam W

Get ready and hold on to your sides, boys and girls.

Whilst playing in my back garden, a friend and I discovered that my garden shed was locked with a padlock made by a lock manufacturer called Plumbob. Finding this highly amusing, we hid behind my garden gate and shouted “PLUMBOB!” at people walking down the path on the other side. We soon grew tired of this, however and went inside to play on the Acorn Electron.

Eric S