Law of the Playground

an archive of the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet
spiders, imaginary

Original ID   : 3938
Created On    : 2004-10-15
Last Modified : 2005-05-01


If girls become wary of you when you tell them that there is a spider in their hair, you can convince them that no, really - there really is a spider in their hair this time - by saying " no, really - there really is a spider in your hair this time “.

If more persuasion is required;

Level 1 : There is a spider in your hair.

Level 2 : No really - there really is a spider in your hair this time.

Level 3 : Oh God, there’s a really big spider in your hair. Everyone, come and look at the really big spider!

Level 4 : It… it looks like it’s laying eggs…

Level 5 : Look, I know I’ve been saying this a lot recently, and at the back of my mind, I realised a time would come when one day, you really might have a spider in your hair. I think I was hiding from that possibility, hoping it would never come, because I knew you wouldn’t believe me when I told you. But honestly, this time, there is a massive spider in your hair, and from the markings I think it’s poisonous. I don’t expect you to believe me, I guess I’ve dug my own grave in that respect, but please - please seek help regarding the oversized spider that’s running amok in your lovely hair. You must tell me your hairdresser, by the way.

Jon B

But there was a spider in my hair. Naturally I was sceptical, so an entire changing room full of girls was unable to convince me of my infestation until I looked in the mirror, at which point I screamed and thrashed for an indeterminate amount of time.

Then the swimming teacher came in and sprayed the offending spider with window cleaner until it died. Yes, the swimming teacher . We were just that posh.

[anon]