Spare trousers
Original ID : 3853 Created On : 2004-04-27 Last Modified : 2005-05-01
Our primary school had a pair of Emergency Trousers, which were given to any unfortunate kid that was found to be accidentally carrying a chocolate passenger.
The reasoning behind issuing this garment was presumably to spare the soiled kid the embarrassment of going back to class wearing niffy damp trousers.
However, the Emergency Trousers must have been lying about since the 1970s, which meant you had to toddle back to class looking like Rupert the fucking Bear. And as such, it was obvious to everyone that you’d suffered an unwelcome “brown visitor”, and you were not spared the ridicule of your peer group in the slightest.