Original ID : 4784 Created On : 2005-07-04 Last Modified : 2006-08-10
The first incidence of shit writing in my experience was someone writing shit, in shit, on the toilet wall.
“What’s that?” someone could ask.
“Shit,” their friend might have replied.
“I can read, thanks, I meant what is … oh.”
A week later the words “GUNS ‘N’ ROSES” appeared on the same wall. Not spelled out in Guns and Roses, though. Still shit.
Chris K
Some come here to sit and think, but I come here to shit and stink.
John Betjeman, 1947 - Lavaratory wall at St Thomas of Canterbury Middle School.
Tom W
‘I come here to rub my balls/And read the writing on the walls’
Philip Larkin, Finchley Catholic High, 1962
[anon]
Here I sit broken hearted
Spent a penny and only farted
Pam Ayres - Stanford-in-the-Vale Grammar School, 1960
billy b
We’ve been sent LITERALLY er…four pieces of celebrity shit writing. So watch out kids, here they come!
*Here I sit smart and artful,
paid fuck all and dropped a cartful.*
Robert Burns, the mens lavvy, Barnton Bar & Bistro, Stirling.
*They fuck you up, sex pests at school.
They may mean to, and they do.
They split your arse without KY,
And give you shitty cock to chew.*
Phillip Larkin again, undisclosed locale.
*Here I sit in stinky vapour
Cause someone stole the toilet paper
Should I stay, should I linger
I will be forced to use my finger*
Joe Strummer, spotted Helena College, 2005
And finally…
I come here to done a piss,
I dunno what they do in India probably sqot on the floor or sumfink.
Wicked.
Jade Goody, Bermondsey Special School, 2004