Nigel is dead
Original ID : 6814 Created On : 2011-10-25 Last Modified : 2011-10-31
We had all been told that we had to be careful around Nigel. He wasn't allowed to eat chocolate, or drink delicious fizzy pops. Earwax was OK - he'd shovel that stuff straight in. He didn't eat bogeys, though - he stored those in his pencil case.
One morning our teacher walked in ashen faced and quietly explained that Nigel would not be coming to school any more. He had moved a long way away.
Our bewildered but trauma-free response clearly wasn't enough for her, as she let out the cry * “Nigel is DEAD!” * .
Unable to process this early brush with mortality as a tragedy, we'd simply echo her heartfelt outburst in the playground, to punctuate a wide range of antics. In some cases, this would continue well into our twenties.
Nigel is still dead.