Original ID : 440 Created On : 2002-11-24 Last Modified : 2005-05-01
The somewhat bitter despatch of a payslip to that teacher who told you you’d get “nowhere in life studying art and drama” (Mr Welsh.. kiss my bank balance). Highlighter pen allows clear demonstration that you pay more tax in a month than he takes home over two.
Giles B
My erstwhile careers advisor doubled as my woodwork teacher. For years I was told I would amount to nothing. Whilst I never despatched a copy of my P90 to him, imagine my satisfaction when he severed his finger during a 5th year woodwork lesson. Oh, and I earn what can only be described as a shitload of cash as a consultant on international contracts. I believe myself justified in saying “Up yours, Mr. Fox, you smelly short-fingered twat”.
Jason B
Yes. In a similar “boo sucks” vein, I posted a copy of first book to evil comprehensive-school-pupil-hating English tutor at Oxford who had suggested early on in my academic career that I might be happier at South Bank Poly. The fact that the book was about dance music and drug culture, rather than being called something like ‘The sonnet: wherefore? Post-feminist dialectics on a premodern form’ did nothing to prove him right, or so I felt at the time.
spadge m
I had the reverse. My headmaster was, for many years, convinced that I was going to be not only the world’s best writer and orator, but a shoe-in for Prime Minister, all dueto my charm, intelligence and acting ability.
Ironically, I’m now a drugged-up bum who amounted to fuck all!
Oh, how foolish you look now, Mr Davies!
Nick K
A mate of a mate called David Burrows was never very academic but a good footballer at school and was always told he’d amount to nothing by his form tutor. When he signed for Liverpool from West Bromwich Albion, he took his cheque for £50,000 to show the red-faced know it all.
Admin adds: A quick google search for David Burrows reveals that he signed to Liverpool for £500,000 in 1988. He played at the Hillsborough fire game, you know. So put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Mr Form Tutor. Just be careful where you stub it out. - Matt
Lee
Nim nim nim Hillsborough nim nim nim fire nim nim nim Bradford nim nim nim.
All further whinges about tragedy inaccuracy should be submitted under the entry for the Heysel Piping Hot Soup Disaster. Now stop it. - Matt