Law of the Playground

an archive of the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet
Flamethrower

Original ID   : 1260
Created On    : 2003-01-31
Last Modified : 2005-05-01


Turning on the gas in chemistry and putting a lighter to it. Obvious really. Best time was when Colin Stone lost his carefully combed and hairsprayed, nu-romantic fringe in a puff of foul-smelling smoke.

Diving B

In my experience, the best time to do this is when you are doing a demonstration for the primary school kids, and ‘accidentally’ turn the wrong tap on, very neatly setting fire to their parents.

[anon]

Taking a length of flexible tubing and spraying a can of lynx into one end, while holding a cigarette lighter to the other will make a rudimentary playground flamethrower.

Unfortunately the fire has a tendency to burst out of both ends, injuring both victim and assailant.

Conor F

Can also be jerry-built from a cigarette lighter and a can of Lynx. This had the added bonus of being portable and made everything stink of “Java” or “Africa”, depending on whose sports bag you raided.

(If there is a more powerful emetic than the stink of burnt teenage hair and fucking Lynx Java mixed together, I haven’t found it. –Susan)

Dr R

Of course, attaching those orange bunsen burner tubes to the gas taps made directional flamethrowers… very good for fights. This does, however, destroy the tubes after a while, so make sure you steal plenty of them.

Filling each others pencil cases with gas was also fun, although I forget exactly why.

The B

Attatching a bunsen burner to the water tap rather than the suggested gas main provides a suprisingly high powered water pistol. Closing the opening at the bottom of the burner is advisable.

[anon]

A surprisingly inventive variation on this was practiced - once - by a clever fellow at my school. In a quiet moment when the teacher wasn’t paying attention, he connected the gas tap to a length of bunsen hose, and the other end of a water hose. Then he turned them on to see which would win.

The result was a clear victory for water pressure, a victory which proved to be irreversible as the underground gas submain filed with water. The gas pressure wasn’t sufficient to drive it out and it had to be dug up and drained at a cost of thousands of pounds.

Jack R