Law of the Playground

an archive of the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet
farts, special times for

Original ID   : 266
Created On    : 2002-11-24
Last Modified : 2005-05-01


Holding in a fart can yield great rewards if you release after a key phrase. For instance, after a scene in Star Wars where someone asked someone else to put a trace on a spaceship, I dropped cargo and declared “put a trace on that”. Bravo, me.

You won't have to wait long. It's quite easy.

How do you do?

*parp*

Much better now, thanks.

What time is it?

*parp*

Too farty.

Hello!

*parp*

Calm down Jeffrey, he wasn't talking to you.

This last one works best if you're known for having an anus called Jeffrey

Jon B

Also appropriate after certain demands, i.e ‘Quick, press my nose’, or ‘Quick, pull my finger’. ‘Quick’ is imperative, to avoid clenching and possible follow-through on release.

Dinner D

The accepted linguistic term for fart so perfectly-timed that it lends emphasis or meaning to the surrounding context is pumptuation .

Stuart L