Original ID : 251 Created On : 2002-11-24 Last Modified : 2005-05-01
The Ethiopian famine of the mid 80’s gave rise to some particularly horrible jokes. I can’t remember them all but a couple stick in my mind: “Did you hear about the nuclear explosion in Ethiopia? - Two million people died trying to eat the mushroom” was one. Another involved pointing at a barcode and asking “what’s that?” Most people guessed incorrectly at a barcode, the answer was of course “An Ethiopian family portrait”. People even put an Ethiopian slant on mum cussing, ie: “Your mum’s fanny is drier than Ethiopia” or just “Your mum’s an Ethiopian”.
Dominic S
Still in use at the time of posting:
How do you get a hundred Ethiopians into a telephone box? Put a tin of sardines in it.
How do you get a hundred Ethiopians out of a telephone box? Run past with a tin opener.
blee a
Given here not for their amusement factor, but to remind us all how immense human suffering isn’t all that serious, really.
Q: What’s the fastest thing on earth?
A: An Ethiopian with a dinner ticket.
Q: What’s the second fastest thing on earth?
A: Blue Peter trying to film it.
Q: What would you do if you saw an Ethiopian drowning?
A: Throw him a Polo.
Q: What’s the definition of a barcode?
A: An Ethiopian family photograph.
[anon]
How do you save an Ethiopian from drowning?
Throw him a Polo.
Ha, and what’s more, ha.
Amy D
What’s the difference between an Ethiopian and a tennis ball?
Five grams.
Although other differences between an Ethiopian and a tennis ball are more immediately obvious - green fur, for one. Except when the Ethiopian has died of starvation and is covered in algae, if indeed algae grows on dead people.
[anon]
What is the height of “sadness”?
Putting an Ethiopian in a round room and telling him his dinner is in the corner.
[anon]
What do you find up an Ethiopian’s arse?
Cobwebs.
Rik B
Q: How do you kill 100 flies with one blow?
A: Punch an Ethiopian.
(6/10, Good twist on the Jack the Giant Killer fable of “seven in one blow”)
Q: How did the Grand Canyon Form?
A: An Ethiopian went on holiday dropped a pea down a rabbit hole.
(3/10, if just one Ethiopian went on holiday, there’d hardly be a canyon-forming rush to get the pea, would there? I mean, Americans wouldn’t get out of bed for anything smaller than a gigantic pea pie.)
[anon]
A popular joke in Yorkshire involved the telephone number of some form of Ethiopian food donatory charity, which was 080 028028, or, if said properly by a Yorkshire child, ‘Who ate nowt, nowt to eat, nowt to eat’. Kind of.
Tenuous at best.
Captain C
Hi my name is Matt Brana-Martin, out of the pop group ‘The Slides’. Can I just say that racism is really bad, and that I don’t condone any of these jokes.
I expect if Geldof or Bono saw these jokes, they’d be well upset, and so anyone posting them would never get to play Live Aid 3 or anything like that. And that’s why I would never submit those sort of ‘jokes’ to a website such as this. Oh, AND because of the ‘racism’ thing, obviously.
We’ve probably got an album, or a single out or something, so please buy that, or come and see us live if we’re currently ‘on the road’ - that’s pop music speak for ‘doing a tour’ - we don’t just stand about on a road!
But don’t forget about the racism thing, please (or the buying of our stuff).
Thanks.
Matt Brana-Martin
Matt B
Q - What do you find up an Ethiopian’s bum?
A - Spoon marks.
[anon]
Q: What do Ethiopians do at night?
A: Starve.
[anon]
Why do Ethiopians wear bones through their noses?
So nobody steals their dinner!
Carlos R
“It’s the joke material that nevorr ends.” - Bob Geldof
Q: What do you call 2 Ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
A: Twix.
Q: What do you call 2 Ethiopians on a raft?
A: Drifter.
[anon]
What’s the best thing about getting a blowjob from an Ethiopian?
She’ll definitely swallow.