Original ID : 3834 Created On : 2004-04-24 Last Modified : 2005-05-01
In days of old,
When men were bold,
And women weren’t invented.
They drilled big holes in telegraph poles,
and walked away contented.
I think the implication is that they fucked the hole in the telegraph pole. Otherwise it’s a pretty weird way to get your kicks, drilling holes in telegraph poles then walking off.
For those of you who didn’t know that women were invented after telegraph poles, here is the first ever telegraph conversation.
<img src=“http://www.disappointment.com/playground/daysofold.gif">
[anon]
Consider also:
In days of old
When knights were bold
And Durex weren’t invented
They just put socks
Around their cocks
And babies were prevented
Authors note: Possibly the oldest allusion to a “wanking sock” on record, this rhyme appeared in the appendix of the Domesday Book, under “In this village Harold Rex had a Poshe Wanke”.
Nick H
In days of old when knights were bold,
And johnnies weren’t invented.
They had to wrap their cocks in socks,
To keep the wives contented.
Towards the end of the Dark Ages, women were becoming more aware of their own sexual needs. Here we see how early sock contraception could be adapted to heighten and enhance the pleasure for both partners, as well as preventing unwanted babies and AIDS.
[anon]
Moving swiftly on to medieval pooing habits, we see the return of the telegraph poles.
In days of old when knights were bold,
And toilets weren’t invented.
They dumped their load,
At the side of the road,
And walked away contented.
In days of old when knights were bold,
And toilets weren’t invented,
They wiped their holes,
With telegraph poles,
And walked away contented.
Being a Catholic primary school, we didn’t know about Durex until secondary school.