Law of the Playground

an archive of the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet
cook that last sausage cold

Original ID   : 5786
Created On    : 2006-02-21
Last Modified : 2006-04-05


Biology teacher, Mrs Bennison gave us this frankly forgettable mnemonic to help us remember the sections of the spinal column: Cervical, Thoracic, Lumbar, Sacral and Coccyx.

Cue a voice from the back of the class providing us with one that was much easier to remember: “Can Tony Lick Susan’s Cunt?”

henry t

The reactivity series of metals (potassium, sodium, calcium, magnesium, aluminium, zinc, iron, lead, hydrogen, copper, silver, gold) may be rendered mnenomically as ‘Pauline’s Smelly Cunt Made Andrew’s Zoo In Leeds’ Hippopotamus Catch Syphilis and Gangrene.

Effective? The co-author (my mate Colin) is now a professional metallurgist with a fucking doctorate and everything. True.

[anon]

The 5 layers of the atmosphere are: Troposphere, Stratosphere, Mesosphere, Thermosphere and Exosphere.

I remember those because of a great mnemonic: The Straight Man's Testicles Exploded.

jamie : Are we having fun yet?

[anon]

Ah, the power of mnemonics. Two I remember are:

A Penis Standing Tall Requires Deep Penetration

and

Angela Lansbury’s Cunt Requires Fertile Men’s Pumping Spunk.

Obviously I can’t remember what they were mnemonics for. Probably something dull about chemistry.

rob s

The phrase poofs like bum love all afternoon allows school-children - or, if I'm being honest, army medics - to remember the parts of the left side of the heart. It also reminds you to be extra-diligent at lunchtime, when gay men are like Gremlins in a swimming pool.

Tony G

Tiny electrical resistors are colour-coded so that you can tell each one’s, er, resistance. They’re too small to write numbers on, you see.

Our teacher, a right twat, had the nmemonic ‘Billy Brown Relaxes On Your Gym But Values Good Whisky’ for the black, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, grey and white stripes.

We came up with the infinitely more memorable (and substantially more racist) ‘Black Bastards Rape Our Young Girls But Violet Gives Willingly’.

Actual number of engineers produced from that class: zero.

Dale T

A “CAST” diagram consists of Cosine, All, Sine and Tangent arranged in a little box with “SA” on the top and “TC” on the bottom. I’ve forgetten what this is actually for, but our Maths teacher, Shabaz Ahmed, taught us the mnemonic All Students Try Cannabis (reading anti-clockwise from A).

Despite this, I’ll always remember it as Ahmed Snatches Tiny Children .

Dunc C

Our tech teacher taught us the colour coding of electrical resistors using the mnemonic ‘Bye-bye Roger, off you go, Birmingham via Great Western’. A poignant farewell, hinting at a moving background story - “Brokeback Mountain” set in the West Country. Or perhaps the Ohm Counties. I didn’t feel it was my place to ask.

Ollie W