Law of the Playground

I defy anyone to find a better use for a periodic table. Simply make rude words up from the available elements.

For example…BiTcH (bismuth, technetium and hydrogen), GaY, FUCK, PoO and especially SnOTi.

[anon]

Zoe was nicknamed ‘Casio’. She believed it was because she had a brilliant mathematical mind - like a pocket calculator. In fact, as you may remember from lessons about iron smelting, CaSiO₃ is the chemical formula for slag.

Jasmine S

Ahem…

Argon Selenium = ArSe

Barium Rutherfordium = BaRf

Bismuth Scandium Uranium Iodine Terbium Arsenic Hydrogen Erbium = BiScUITbAsHEr

Boron Oxygen Nitrogen Erbium = BONEr

Boron Oxygen Oxygen Boron Sulphur = BOOBS

Boron Uranium Mercury Germanium Radium = BUHgGeRa

Calcium Nitrogen Sodium bismuth Sulphur = CaNNaBiS

Cobalt Carbon Potassium = CoCK

Cobalt Carbon Potassium Lutetium Vanadium Erbium = CoCKLuVEr

Cobalt Carbon Potassium Sulphur Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium = CoCKSUCKEr

Copper Nitrogen Titanium = CuNTi

Fluorine Argon Titanium = FArTi

Fluorine Oxygen Radon Iodine Calcium Tellurium = FORnICaTe

Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium = FUCKEr

Gallium Sulphur Hydrogen = GaSH

Gallium Sulphur sulphur Yttrium = GaSSY

Holmium Molybdenum = HoMo

Holmium Thulium Oxygen Thorium Erbium = HoTmOThEr

Lanthanium Bismuth Arsenic = LaBiAs

Molybdenum Uranium Selenium Cobalt Carbon Potassium = MoUSeCoCK

Molybdenum Thorium Erbium Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium = MoThErFUCKEr

Oxygen Ruthenium Fluorine Iodine Cerium = ORuFICe

Oxygen Vanadium Argon Iodine Einsteinium = OVArIEs

Phosphorus Iodine Nitrogen Potassium Sulphur Gold Sulphur Silver Einsteinium = PINK SAuSAgEs

Phosphorus Iodine Sulphur Sulphur = PISS

Plutonium Beryllium Tellurium Arsenic Erbium = PuBeTeAsEr

Polonium Oxygen Fluorine = PoOF

Polonium Radon Oxygen = PoRnO

Praseodymium Iodine Carbon Potassium = PrICK

Plutonium Sodium Nickel = PuNaNi

Plutonium Sodium Nickel Lithium Carbon Potassium Erbium = PuNaNiLiCKEr

Scandium Tungsten Iodine Nitrogen Germanium = ScWINGe

Sulphur Hydrogen Iodine Tellurium = SHITe

Sulphur Hydrogen Iodine Tellurium Yttrium Cobalt Carbon Potassium = SHITeY CoCK

Sulphur Iodine Carbon Potassium = SICK

Sulphur Phosphorus Uranium Nitrogen Potassium = SPUNK

Titanium Titanium Einsteinium = TiTiEs

Vanadium Silver Iodine Sodium = VAgINa

Tungsten Sodium Potassium Erbium = WNaKEr

Yttrium Oxygen Uranium Rhenium Gallium Yttrium = YOURe GaY

Useful prefixes:

Carbon Helium Einsteinium Yttrium = CHeEsY

Sulphur Titanium Nitrogen Potassium Yttrium = STiNKY

(Editor’s Note : Anna Williams either suffers from autism and Tourettes, or has looked this up on the “internet”. In any event, thank you Anna.)

(Anna replies : Sadly, neither is true, Editor. I spent far too much time finding out which rude words are possible with the periodic table and which aren’t. I’m still rather disgruntled that one cannot fashion ‘your dad blows goats’ with the abbreviations.)

[anon]