Law of the Playground

an archive of the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet
Betty Swollocks and friends

Original ID   : 2070
Created On    : 2003-07-16
Last Modified : 2005-05-01


Inevitably there came a time when a teacher would ask the pupils to make a list of their names- with luck it was a supply teacher who didn’t know who you all were and would then read the names out. In these cases, it always paid to have some handy rude spoonerism names to pad out the list. E.g.

Betty Swollocks

Paul Smeenis

Mary Hinge

Kelly Smunt

Joe Blobb

Tex Soy

Trevor Nyanalsecks etc.

Not to be confused with more direct humour of names like Mike Hunt, Hugh Jarse etc.

[anon]

You missed out Keith Burton.

Rob Y

The fun of these cleverly invented names turns to heartbreaking tragedy when you meet the unfortunate girl named Vicky Pagett, who has led a needlessly difficult life.

Robert R

A few of us were trying to think up new Betty Swollocks variations when a lad from the year below, missing the point a bit, suggested the name Nig Bipples.

It’s hard to batter someone when you’re crying with laughter.

Nig B