Law of the Playground

an archive of the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet
Arsehole, arsehole

Original ID   : 5165
Created On    : 2005-09-29
Last Modified : 2005-11-09


Sung in the dinner hall between courses:

*Arsehole, arsehole, a soldier I shall be,

To piss, to piss, two pistols at my knees,

Fuck you, fuck you, for curiosity,

Fight for my cunt, fight for my cunt, fight for my counnnnn-tryyyyyy.*

Caused many a detention. I wonder why?

An alternative ending was “Fight for the Queen’s cunt, fight for the Queen’s cunt, fight for the Queen’s cunt-ree”. Some people think that this scans better and is funnier because it’s got the Queen’s cunt in it. It’s all a matter of perspective, really.

[anon]

Should the present Monarch pass away, this song will not be rendered obsolete. Simply switch your allegiance to the new head of state by changing the last two lines to:

“Fucking and cunt, Fucking and cunt, Fucking and Cunt-er-ee!”

And thus a new generation gets to savour the taste of illicit playground swears.

[anon]