Deflated

Our new car is stuffed with all manner of gizmos, many of which I don’t understand and some of which I have yet to investigate. One feature is a set of sensors in the wheels which will alert you when a tyre is deflating. In the old days, you knew a tyre was going flat because the handling went to shit, the noise was appalling, and bits of rubber would come whizzing past the windows if you ignored these warning signs. But BMW have fitted their cars with “run-flats” which means your car will continue to be driveable after all the air has departed through whatever hole has been created.

Run-flat tyres are a good thing because you can have a blow-out without loss of control, you don’t need to carry a spare tyre, and you can drive yourself to the nearest coffee shop to ponder your predicament rather than sitting on the hard shoulder on a motorway and crying. Run-flat tyres are a bad thing because they are more expensive and are apparently noisier. There is another bad thing about them, but I didn’t discover that until today.

It all started yesterday when we were driving in town and the low tyre pressure warning came on. I stopped, I checked the display, and it seemed to indicate all the tyres had a problem. This seemed very unlikely and I popped out for a quick inspection to satisfy myself all was well; and so it seemed to be. I decided this was just an aberration, maybe the very cold weather had caused lower pressure and the trip. Whatever, I reset the warning and everything seemed OK again.

It wasn’t until this morning that I discovered that it wasn’t, a rear tyre clearly had less air in it than it should. It was round about this time I discovered that resetting the display is actually telling the car that the current pressures are correct, so I had stupidly told the car that the flat tyre was running at the right pressure. If only I had read the three hundred page owner’s manual that I had bitched at BMW to obtain in English.

Anyway, I was now screwed, what to do? I have a glossy card provided by BMW with a help line to call, so I called it. After much hanging around I spoke with a young man who spoke excellent English, apart from any words to do with automotive malfunction. Once She Who Must Be Obeyed had taken over and explained what a puncture was, he offered to arrange for a tow truck to take my car to the garage in Bangkok (I can’t wait for German Motor to open their full service facility in Pattaya next month).

We declined this rather extreme measure and then found out that B-Quick in Pattaya are authorised by BMW to handle run-flats, so we drove down there very carefully. After a couple of hours they had put a temporary patch on the tyre, but confirmed it was beyond repair and pointed out to a nasty bulge in the sidewall as confirmation of this. No surprise, in fact I had independently discovered that BMW recommend punctured run-flat tyres be replaced and not repaired. Yes you can drive on them after a puncture; but in doing so you will shag the sidewalls and destroy the tyre. So instead of some inconvenience and a small bill for a puncture repair, you get convenience and a massive bill for a new tyre. Bugger.

Naturally, B-Quick did not have a low-profile rear tyre the width of racing car tyre in stock, so now we have to wait until Monday while they try to source one. Or rather two, because apparently you often have to buy them in pairs…

Not only has this turned into an expensive pain in the arse, it is also massively inconvenient because The Son and his lady arrive on Wednesday for Xmas. It is very unlikely that a tyre will be sourced by then, so it was on the phone in an attempt to rent a car; preferably something large enough for four of us and all their luggage. Of course everywhere was booked out, and all we could manage was a shitty little Vios. More expense.

With everything just about sorted out, I needed something to relieve the stress. So it was off to the windsurfing club for my first outing for many many months.

I had taken my camera with me and my wife decided to take some shots. Unfortunately she did not understand the need for exposure compensation when pointing at the sun, so her shots were somewhat unusual; but here is me being all sporty for a change:

And here is someone else:

Felt great to be sailing again; although after a couple of hours I had aches were I didn’t even know I had body parts. Expect to be a little stiff in the morning.

Comments 🔗

2014-12-21 | jon sutton says

Modern cars………… all the safety features and eco-functions conspire to keep the damn thing in the garage, thereby succeeding in their purpose.

Wouldn’t have these problems with a Morris Marina!

2014-12-22 | Grant says

Good point Jon, although finding one after Clarkson saw off most of the surviving stock in the UK might not be so easy now… I’m reliably informed that the modern motor car got about as good as it needs to be in the early 2000’s and since then your safety features and eco-functions have so added to the dreadful complexity that the law of diminishing returns has well and trully kicked in, as Uncle Spike is now discovering. Nice to see him out on a board again, isn’t it?

2014-12-23 | **** says

Nothing wrong with feeling a little stiff in the morning … I believe Oasis sanga song about that ‘What’s The Story Morning Glory’ …

2014-12-24 | Andrew says

run flats also have a harsher ride because of the stiff sidewalls - changing to a regular ( ie. puncture repairable- or 2 as they should be changed in pairs) tire might give you an even nicer ride and be cheaper…but hey what do I know - I drive Korean where for the past 4 years I haven’t had any problems at all…

2014-12-25 | Grant says

I think the issue with Spike’s car may be that with the run-flats fitted there is no longer anywhere to stow a spare wheel, even a space saver let alone a jack and wheelbrace. The harsh ride is common across all low profile tyres not only because of the stiff sidewalls but also the higher pressures at which they need to run. They are intended, so far as I can see, for high-spec motorways and are quite unsuitable for Siamese roads. Our aging Mitsi was retro-fitted with mags and L/P tyres by the previous owner and the harhness has led to premature failure of suspension bushes and steering joints. I’d change it back to what it was born with but one of the War Department’s cousins works for Bridgestone and tyres have so far been, er, “cheap”…