Snake search

The trip to the north was in the company of Kevin; who has made the journey several times before with a bag full of lenses and a heart full of hope. On previous visits he has been denied the opportunity to see snakes and was hoping that this time he would be more lucky.

The portents were good. The locals said they had seen loads of snakes everywhere; but then, once we visited a location, they announced they had never ever seen the slightest hint of a snake in that vicinity. Obviously bribes were in order, and Kevin let it be known that he would pay 100 baht for a snake sighting.

Nothing.

So on the final evening, he doubled the bounty to 200 baht and, sure enough, a villager came struggling down the path with a large container the following morning. Must be a massive snake.

But although the container was large, the snake was tiny:

A few feeble attempts were made to photograph it….

… and then it was chucked over the wall into a rice paddy to help ensure it did not end up as a fried snack on the same day it had had to spend more time than it would have liked in a plastic bucket.

A reasonable snake encounter was not going to happen; and this was something of a problem for Kevin as he had justified this trip to his wife on the basis that a world of snakes would await. There was only one solution: Photoshop.

We decided that I would take a shot of Kevin with his arm outstretched, find a photo of a humongous snake on the web, and then insert same into the photo. This was the first shot:

I suggested to Kevin that, had he been actually holding a huge snake, he would not be sporting a “smug cunt” expression. Instead, we needed something a little more startled. Take two:

Much better, especially as I had not the slightest intention of Photoshopping a snake into the photo. Instead, I feel this could well end up having pride of place on his living room wall:

Comments 🔗

2014-10-19 | Kevin says

I’ve regularly swapped bits of kit with Spike on outings as he can be rather forgetful at times and I’m constantly hearing “don’t suppose you’ve got a spare memory card with you” or “bollocks I’ve left my 12-40 behind”. On this occasion I felt the need for the use of a longer lens than my 35-100 and said to Spike I could do with something longer. No problem says Spike I’ve got just the thing in my bag. Bastard I thought the jammy git has managed by to get hold of one of the much awaited Olympus 40-150 f2.8 so I delved into his bag and grabbed the biggest thing I could find. Spike claims to have photoshopped this “king nobra” into my hand when the reverse is actually true. The look on my face is that of true horror finding myself alone in a jungle with a guy carrying a pink dildo with him and, the realisation that my newly purchased snake gaiters weren’t going to protect me from this situation.

2014-10-19 | BlogDaz says

Got to wonder who’s telling the truth, and what did really occur in the depths of Thailand’s jungles between 2 men and a pink dildo,

2014-10-20 | genuinej says

What snake is it?

2014-10-20 | jon sutton says

trouser snake…….. aka vomitting bed viper

2014-10-29 | Andrew says

looks more like the Pink One Eye snake - quite rare and only found in its native habitat in Southern California ( by way of China ) film locations and previously only captured on videodisc and videotape..quite amazing to have this footage in the digital realm now…btw there is going to be a rehabilitation centre for previously abused ones which will be announced soon on Kickstarter….