Stage 2 complete. Almost.

Stage 1 of our home migration project, the identification and purchase of a new abode, occupied most of June. Stage 2, which has made July into one of the more exhausting months I have experienced, has been the refurbishment of our new dwelling. This is almost complete and we are heading into the final stage which requires us to move all our shit into the new house before the end of August in order that the sale of the current Spike Mansions can be completed as per contract.

Yesterday provided a fairly typical example of a stage 2 day. There were men in a toilet putting finishing touches to tiles. In two bedrooms, new wardrobes were being installed and a painter was trying to avoid the wardrobe installers and paint the walls. In the living area a new kitchen was nearing completion, and the car port area saw excavations in process in preparation for a new store room. A representative from 3BB could be found scuttling around in the roof to move the internet connection from one room to another, and a man arrived to tell me how he would keep termites at bay without killing the cat.

She who must be obeyed’s role was to stride amongst the chaos and keep everything pointing in approximately the right direction, a job she is ideally suited for as she spends most of her life doing the same to me. My job was to keep out of the way, complain about things occasionally, and attempt unsuccessfully to remove some plastic wrap which we had put around the new fridge to protect it and which then refused to be removed (the answer, discovered this morning, was turpentine).

Most of the past month has been like this, a combination of purchasing items and dealing with various contractors, and we have generally been very lucky with the latter.

There are good contractors in Thailand, but they can be hard to find; and if you end up with a bad one then they can make your life very miserable and expensive. Our main contractor has been bloody excellent. Intelligent, reliable, honest and not overly expensive. In fact I think his quote for tiling the bathrooms was a bargain, mainly because we got him to quote before telling him that most of the tiles were tiny custom-made ceramic tiles which must have taken four times longer than he planned to install. His tilers tile properly, his painters don’t splash everywhere, and his electrician only blows himself up occasionally.

Similarly impressive were the guys who came to replace the windows and doors with UPVC offerings. A hard-working crews with a farang supervisor called Mr. Hailstones, who descended upon the property and ripped out everything and replaced them with sparkly new things in four days.

Bottom of the heap were the kitchen installers who have so far taken four and a half days over a job that was scheduled for two, the over-run due to general dicking around, missing parts and very long lunch breaks. Still, the end result looks good; even if it is not quite finished yet.

The last of the painting, the kitchen and the completion of she who must be obeyed’s toilet (we designed one each, mine is complete and looks ace, but all the contractors are currently pissing in it which upsets me) should take us through to Saturday; after which we can start to clean up the dusty interior and plan to move in; leaving the contractor in the garden building the storeroom (and pissing in the flowerbeds).

All this leaves us for very little time for anything other than flopping in a chair at the end of the day; hence the lack of updates. In the coming weeks even the chair may be lost in transit; so I wouldn’t hope for anything substantial until September. I love you all.

Comments 🔗

2014-08-06 | Barry says

When you consider the potential for disaster, you do indeed appear to have led a charmed life. My builders appear (appear, as in only time will tell) to have done a fine job in constructing my house. But as for decoration, a five year old with a monkey assistant could have done better. I have an on-going offer of 1000 baht to anyone who can find any item or furniture or a wall without paint where paint should not have been. I am, unfortunately, a perfectionist, and in Thailand in that direction lays madness. But, unlike you, I am in the countryside and have had to make do with builder/decorators who are, let us say, untrained in the art of building and decorating. My wife only told me this after I noticed that many things were not as I had expected them to be. Without spending a great deal to rectify things I am stuck with what I have. I am in training now not to be a perfectionist.

2014-08-06 | Spike says

It hasn’t been perfect. We discovered a cracked tile today that will have to be replaced.

2014-08-07 | Grant says

Separate toilets? Fascinating. Are they side-by-side or in tandem…?

2014-08-08 | Spike says

Main bedroom ensuite, plus a guest toilet for everyone else. We agreed to design one each.

2014-08-09 | Grant says

Very civilised. I must say I am much relieved… Do tell us, you got to design the guest toilet?

2014-08-10 | Spike says

Nope, I created the now magnificent ensuite. I know, surprised me too.

2014-08-10 | Grant says

Well done you! That’s a staggering amount of autonomy to be granted by the female in any Thai household. Our drawing room walls are a charming pink. Need I say more? And you were saying that this was achieved without recourse to pouting or the stamping of feet…?

2014-08-11 | Spike says

I never said that; of course I had to sulk extensively.

2014-08-11 | Grant says

Yes, that’s to be expected. I trust you will be favouring us with photographs of this baronial throne room in due course…?