And on the third day, he rose again

Or in my case, the thirteenth.

Yep, it’s been thirteen days of crucifixion-level suffering as I rather foolishly undertook a solo attempt to re-decorate the main living area of our condo. I would like to report that I am finished; but the more I fettle, the more I find that needs to be fettled. It may never be finished. But she who must be obeyed has returned from up north so I am now required to spend at least part of my day not elbow deep in dust and paint spray.

Thirteen days does sound rather a lot for a lick of paint; but it is a very large condo with more walls than should reasonably be required to hold up a ceiling; and every square centimetre needed preparing (copious quantities of plaster were slapped on the wall, and then turned into dust via a power sander. I spent much of my time sucking up dust (duties shared between my lungs and a vacuum cleaner). There was a river of paint involved too, so much so that, during my fifth trip to HomeWorks, I was presented with a form to complete. I initially assumed it was a customer satisfaction survey, in which case I was going to suggest that they pre-print it with a ticked option suggesting that “all the staff are useless”; but as I completed it I realised it was some sort of contractor registration form. It seemed impolite not to finish it; but I am expecting a visit from immigration soon, asking for my work permit and for more details of my apparently extensive decorating business.

Days started early. There seemed no point in taking a morning shower, so it was quickly down to business. With no spectators, I was free to prance around in only underpants (I suggest you don’t try and visualise this; I certainly avoided mirrors). This meant that when I inevitably covered my hands in paint, I could wipe them on a clean body part. Evening showers were Dulux Halo Yellow in colour; anyone checking the shower water would get entirely the wrong idea. Even during my post-shower downtime, I couldn’t stop fiddling with “home improvements”. Sat down to relax on the computer and decided the keyboard needed a thorough clean. Thirty minutes later I had a sparkling keyboard, featuring several keys that have never worked since…

The last of the painting happened today (I think), and there is now just a couple of dozen jobs outstanding before the condo can be declared in good order. Many of these involve the clearance of what I perceive as junk hoards belonging to my wife; although she describes them as precious things. There may be arguments. Still, once we are done, I may put the condo on the market. I couldn’t bear the thought of having to paint it again in a few years.

Comments 🔗

2014-04-21 | Ron says

We expect photos of the finished product.

2014-04-21 | Parry says

You missed a spot.

2014-04-22 | Spike says

Pretty much what my wife observed upon her return.