Dear Raimon Land

Thank you for your latest newsletter. I was most surprised to receive it; as I have been most surprised to receive the last eighteen or so newsletters given that I unsubscribe from your mailing list every time I receive one of your promotional puff pieces.

I know where I went wrong, my mistake was giving you my email address, as detailed here. Your mistake has been to act in a completely non-professional manner by continuing to bombard a completely disinterested, and now completely pissed-off consumer with information about projects in which I have no interest; even if they come with a free iPad Mini and a choice of kitchen furniture in pastel colours. Many companies include an unsubscribe option with their newsletters; but only an unprofessional company would ignore people who unsubscribe.

So now I have had enough. If you won’t stop throwing junk at me; the least I can do is throw some junk back at you. I hereby vow to spend a small part of every day searching the wide wide world of web for people and organisations willing to send out crap based on just an e-mail address. Your e-mail address; all your e-mail addresses.

So far you are signed up for a host of Christian missionary messages. Christians are very needy, loved to be loved, and therefore throw out almost daily supplications to their flock; which now includes you. Just to balance things, you are also on the mailing list for a number of enthusiastic Jewish and Muslim mailings; although I must apologise to a plumber in Alabama whose address I used to sign you up for a stack of Islamic literature; turns out these will be sent by post.

Onto more secular matters; did you know that there is a single page where you can sign up for fifteen mother and baby related regular publications? Neither did I. In fact, typing “free newsletters” into Google provides page after page of sites who really want to send loads of newsletters. And trust me, they are going to.

As for your mails to me? I have of course marked them as spam, every single one, and I hope that somehow that lowers your rating somewhere in the heart of Google. It does ensure that I will never see one of your “newsletters” again.

But on the positive side, you should be seeing a regular flow of correspondence comprising “Daily Devotions” from some nuthead in Idaho. I sincerely hope this annoys you as much as you have annoyed me.

Love and kisses

Spike

P.S. If there is some pastel kitchen furniture surplus to requirements, eggshell blue would go well with my curtains.

Comments 🔗

2013-11-07 | Tic says

It’s what they deserve. I have the same problem with so many companies sending out this kind of stuff to me. I shall follow the same procedure as you did. Another annoying thing is they also send their junk through SMS. This gets me more frustrated but still no solution for this yet.

2013-11-08 | Barry says

That’s the way to do it (said in a Punch and Judy voice). Excellent idea, and one many of us have need to follow.

2013-11-08 | Spike says

Call your phone service provider and tell them you want it stopped. It stops!

2013-11-08 | Camberley says

Now why didn’t I think of that when those animal right’s idiots mistook me for someone important involved with animal testing?

2013-11-10 | Quazimodo says

What you need is Mailshot Software, many free versions to be found, you then build a file with their email address in it a few hundred times and send it to them hourly to start with, sending just a few hundred messages enquiring " Please advise when I have been removed from you email "

Better, if you can fish the email address of the MD and send to him, he will be delighted with your interest in his company too !