A long time ago (four years), in a land far away (my smallest bedroom), there came a table of magnitude (3 metres) which was designed as being a piece of elegant furniture but was delivered looking like something from a farmyard.
It was intended as a computer table and so it was loaded up with computers and served its purpose for some months. Then we decided to turn the bigger spare bedroom into a joy-filled emporium of hobby delights, to include photography lights and all the computers. And so it was, with much sweating and swearing, that the 3 metre table was moved to the bigger room where it was again loaded with computer gear. The smaller spare room changed status to spare bedroom and domestic balance was restored for a while.
But the wooden floor in the bigger room was well past its best, courtesy of two floods caused by burst pipes many years ago; and it had gradually degraded to the point where it needed ripping up. In addition, my designed to be magnificent computer table had cracked where it should not have cracked and become even more unsightly thanks to cat attacks, spilled drinks and general wear and tear. In summary, it looked like shit.
So the table had to go, and the floor had to be replaced; and preparation for that has taken up much of my time over the past week.
First, the computers. Before I could deal with the table, the computers had to be moved. Their temporary home would be back in the small bedroom, pending their triumphal return to the bigger room once it had a new floor. So a trip to Ikea was made and we spent at least an hour deciding whether to have a green glass worktop or a black glass worktop. On the way home, she who must be obeyed asked me which we had chosen and I could not remember.
Turned out to be black and the computers were duly moved; although I could see no point in sorting out the cabling in the temporary location. But before I could install these new glass tabletops, I had to dismantle and move a bed. I don’t know if you have ever tried moving a double mattress on your own, but I assure you it is not an easy task.
Next job was to deal with the wooden table. I remembered that it had taken at least five fit men to negotiate it up the stairwell when it was installed; I couldn’t see the point of employing similar to take it down again. And so I embarked upon one of the least pleasant afternoons of my life. Armed with a rather feeble Black and Decker fretsaw, a hammer and a screwdriver, I attacked the three metre monster. After four hours I had reduced it to kit form; although it was not the sort of kit you could ever rebuild.
It was then a further two hours to clean up the mess I had made, plus all the filth that had been hiding behind the desk for years. It was very hot and I worked only in my underpants (not a pretty sight). As a result I was probably unaware as to just how much I had sweated and dehydrated. After slumping on the sofa in the evening for an hour or so, I stood up and suddenly found myself on the floor, on the verge of blacking out. Took a further day of extensive fluid intake before the wobbly feeling disappeared.
Then we needed some tiles to replace the wooden floor, so it was off to the tile emporium for an afternoon of delights. We finally agreed on a tile which they actually had in stock, only to find there was a waiting list of at least a month for their tiling service.
So after a week of fun, I have a pile of wood that needs to be taken away, and a floor that needs to be removed and replaced with tiles which will probably be out of stock by the time I can find a tiler.
I hope your week was better.
Comments 🔗
2013-05-12| Craig saysHmm real wood, i’d be most grateful for that. (no I will not compost it, not this decade anyway), If you need a tiler, ask SHMBO to call Am, we can probably rec. somebody who will do shit job and damage the rest of your place.
2013-05-12| Wentworth saysSo it’s shelf life wasn’t very long at all.
2013-05-12| The Son saysOh, this is what you meant. Then my Saturday was certainly better. Good job done though!
2013-05-26| May be useless | Pattaya Days says[…] probably will not recall the exciting story of my table assault a couple of weeks ago; but having laid waste to a computer table I was struggling to find a tiler. […]