She who must be obeyed is never short of folk remedies for a variety of ailments. I view all her cures with a deep suspicion. If it hasn’t been recommended by a doctor, or I have not been bombarded with an extensive television advertising campaign featuring unusually attractive women in white coats and a blizzard of graphs; then I am not interested.
My latest problem, slight as it is, is an inability to have a full night’s sleep. This is partly caused by my wife’s current late working hours, which means she returns home when I would normally be tucked up in bed, and then wants to chat and/or play some of her games on the computer. This is known as “winding down” and I do sympathise, albeit with a lot of yawning.
Crawling into bed shortly before the sun rises (OK, several hours before the sun rises), would not be a problem if I could sleep until late. But I have been waking around 0700, insufficiently rested and unable to go back to sleep.
Last night I was presented with one of her “cures”. It was one of those ghastly little bottles containing Chinese herbs and “essence of chicken”. Judging by the taste, the essence being used is the stomach contents and I refused to drink it.
It’s good for you.
No it’s not. It’s superstitious Chinese nonsense.
It will make you sleep well.
No it won’t, it will stimulate my gag reflex and keep me awake.
Drink it
No Drink it No
The argument ended like all our arguments. she wore me down and I drank the foul fowl concoction. The immediate result was that I wanted to throw up, but I eventually fell asleep, albeit in a bad mood having been forced to drink something useless.
Woke this morning at 11:00.
“Sleep well darling?” she not so innocently enquired.
I hate it when she is right.
Comments 🔗
2012-12-03| Wally saysIn my last life, immediately before I retired to Thailand almost 8 years ago, my working day started at 06:30 (an ended at 14:00 with an hour off for breakfast at 09:00). In order for me to arrive at work on time I needed to wake at 05:30, ablute myself, have a cup of tea/coffee and then drive to work. Now, almost 8 years later, I still wake at 05:30, I just can’t seem to break this ungodly habit. I do however sneak back to bed for an hour later in the morning for more than the standard 40 winks siesta.
2012-12-03| Jock saysHave you tried a wee dram before retiring? Certainly more palatable than the essence of chicken´.
I would recommed Talisker or Lagavullin.
2012-12-04| Spike saysDearest Jock Ever since I started this blog, and probably for many years before, your kind advice on every problem I have encountered in my life has been: Have a wee dram. Broken back? Have a wee dram. Man flu (several): Have a wee dram. Suspicious limp?: Have a wee dram. Death of close relative? Have a wee dram. And my response was, and continues to be the same: I DON’T DRINK WHISKY.
2012-12-04| Spike saysI understand there is something called “sunrise”; can you confirm?
2012-12-04| Wally saysI dunno, it’s still dark when I wake. Plus my bedroom faces west, and that’s sunset territory - not sunrise. I can confirm there’s a sunset - I raise my beer can to it most evenings.
2012-12-04| biggrtiggr saysI DON’T DRINK WHISKY………………………. that explains so many things
2012-12-05| Grant saysThe dreaded essence is obtained by running chicken carcases through the drums of a giant mangle. The flattened by-product is then secured between split bamboo, roasted and sold by street vendors…
2012-12-05| Grant saysI too have heard of this thing called “sunrise”, and have met people who claim to have seen it, but the reality of it, if any, continues to elude me…
2012-12-05| Grant saysPity, because if you did you wouldn’t have to drink chicken essence. Think it through…