Included in my list of many afflictions over the years has been sinusitis. This was a particular problem when I went diving, requiring the ingestion of pills known as “diver’s chocolates” before each dive, to ensure my nasal passages could cope.
Has not been a problem recently, but last week I went for an SUP paddle on a afternoon when there were massive waves breaking more than head high, and storm warnings to shipping in effect. Well, not really, but there was a bit of a swell and I fell off the board several times and Mr. Gravity ensured that I was inserted into the Gulf of Thailand at a speed sufficient to send a mixture of Russian pee and boat oil (with a small amount of sea water) straight up my nose and into my nasal cavities where it festered for a few hours before signalling its residence with a throbbing pain above the eyes.
Most unpleasant, and even though it subsided after a few days, I can still feel a certain evil presence lingering in my sinuses which I wish I could dispel. I mentioned this to the owner of the windsurfing club and she said she had had major sinus problems for many years, but had found a cure; apple cider! She said something about it not tasting very good and just putting a small amount every day on her food; but I was already on my way to the shops.
I have happy memories, and memories of having no memory, of cider drinking summer days in the UK. Light, refreshing and sometimes potent, how could something so pleasing be a cure for anything? This was good news indeed and I resolved to immediately cure my sinus problem with a massive dose of medicinal cider.
Off to the local mall and all I could find on the shelf, at a depressingly high price, was this:
Still, medicine is never cheap, so I invested in three cans of the miracle cure, took them home, and drank the contents. They went down very well, apart from the last can which seemed to be having trouble coordinating with my lips. Went to bed in a slightly emotional state.
This morning I woke and my sinus pain was gone! At least I assumed it was gone, hard to tell due to the bloody awful headache. And my tongue tasted like it had been licking a cat in the night, which is of course quite possible.
I lurched to my computer to check on this cure, and discovered that what I should have been using was a small, disgusting, amount of apple cider vinegar; which is no fun at all but probably does more to clear sinuses and less to cause headaches.
In future I will stick to gin and tonic, that cures everything.
Comments 🔗
2012-10-03| Robin Parmar saysMy cure-all is a hot whiskey, made in double dosages. Half a lemon goes into each one. Cures almost any cold before it happens.
2012-10-03| Spanky saysSpike the Russian pee at least has a high alcohol content. Much healthier than the oil.
2012-10-04| Grant saysSurely the alcohol is processed by their vital organs before they piss on their shoes…?
2012-10-04| Grant saysSounds wonderful, though we must remember that Spike is but a frail Sassenach who isn’t partial to whisky and will have to extemporise with hot gin. I take it Robin that you self administer this elixir daily including summer, just to be sure?
2012-10-04| Spanky saysThey are Russians. I think they process alcohol differently.
2012-10-04| Robin Parmar saysHa! Well, whiskey knows no proper time of year but the hot variety I reserve for forebodings of illness. Here in Ireland the sweet versions like Powers or Paddy are perfect. You wouldn’t want to be making a hot beverage with Lagavulin!
2012-10-04| Jock saysTraditional Northern British (read Scotland) preparation of a hot toddy involves the mixture of whisky, boiling water or warm milk, and sugar and honey. Additional ingredients such as cloves, a lemon slice or cinnamon (in stick or ground form) may be added.[3]
A common version in the Midwest uses Vernors Ginger Ale, lemon, honey and Bourbon whiskey. In Wisconsin, brandy is often used instead of bourbon.
And Grant you´re right .. would be a waste of Lagavullin (or Talisker) …. use a cheaper brand of whisky like Bells or such like.
2012-10-05| Grant saysThanks Robin, and especially Jock for your recipes. Sure knocks cider vinegar into a cocked hat!
2012-10-05| Grant saysYou may well be right. They seem impervious to even the largest quantities of wodka, unlike the Marlborough Sounds pilot who sank the Mikhail Lermontov…
2012-10-05| Spike saysAs usual, especially with Jock around, any discussion on medicinal treatments quickly degenerates into a “how can I get pissed by using an occasional sneeze as an excuse”.