Jim'll fiddle with it

One of the less endearing characteristics of the British character is our love of self-righteous indignation. Give us something to go “tut tut” about, and we are content.

Which can be the only explanation for the massive coverage given to a fifteen year old student and her teacher who ran away to France together last week. Would make for a rather romantic story if the girl had been sixteen or over. but she was fifteen; and was therefore classified as a child. This meant that her rather foolish boyfriend was classified as a child-molesting creep who had “groomed” the girl into running away with him. Oh, and he was married, which gave the story an extra salacious twist; the bounder!

Of course, they should have waited until she was sixteen, or been Japanese where the age of consent is thirteen, or Italian (fourteen), or from any country where tutting is not a national pastime. But, instead of waiting, they slipped away to France, which was a good move for three reasons. Firstly, the French age of consent is fifteen which means they were not behaving illegally in that country. Secondly, the French would no doubt secretly admire such a tryst. And of course the French would adore another chance to piss off the Brits by refusing to be indignant.

The runaways must have thought they would go unnoticed once over the channel, but they hadn’t reckoned on the triviality of the British press which shovelled any important news onto page 2 so they could plaster news of this tragic story all over the headlines; and thus alert the considerable British population in Bordeaux to watch out for this evil couple; which they did.

Lovers captured and on the way home, there was a real danger that the media would have to resort to some real news; but then there was a program on UK TV last night which should keep them busy for a while.

Sir Jimmy Savile, OBE, KCSG looked like a tramp, behaved like an idiot and was the purveyor of multiple annoying catch-phrases. He also did voluntary work in hospitals, raised large sums of money for charity, and was therefore a much admired “national treasure”. Oh, and apparently a pervert.

“The other side of Jimmy Savile” revealed a man whose main hobby was not doing good works, but doing young girls. Throughout his career he capitalised on his exposure to young people by groping and raping as many girls as he could get his hands on, the younger the better. One of his victims suggested that the reason he was usually seen in a shell suit was because it made it easier for him to get his dick out. What a charmer.

The program received plenty of publicity before it aired (which must have been good for advertising rates) and the trustees of the Jimmy Savile Charitable Trust were quick state they were “personally outraged and they have no reason to believe these allegations”. Their “personal outrage” was in no way related to the possibility of their management fees being reduced due to a reduction in donations. Once the program aired they changed their response and are now calling for an enquiry.

Personally, I always detested the man. He came across as an arrogant twat and his musical taste was abysmal. It is with some relief that I can now join with my fellow countrymen and say, with a carefully controlled sense of British outrage: “tut tut”.

Comments 🔗

2012-10-04 | Jock says

Great Title … BTW I have just burned my 3 shell suits !!

2012-10-04 | Spike says

Popular on Twitter was “Jim’ll fist it”.

2012-10-04 | biggrtiggr says

I think this will precipitate revelations about a few more ’national treasures’………. and possibly one imported from the colonies

2012-10-04 | Spike says

Please may it be Rolf Harris. “Two little boys had two little toys”, so bloody obvious in retrospect.

2012-10-04 | Jock says

Cracking comment Spike …

2012-10-04 | genuinej says

I detested JS too and would like to suggest obnoxious alongside arrogant. Agree regarding RH as well, but you shouldn’t be too hard on him as it was one of Jock’s mates, Harry Lauder, who first made the song popular. With regard to the runaways to Frogland, waiting until 16 would not have worked as, as her teacher, he is/was in a position of trust and the appropriate age then becomes 18. He is definitely in deep shit though.

2012-10-04 | biggrtiggr says

Cannot possibly comment

2012-10-04 | Christopher Gennard says

The Paedo with the Golden Coffin - Jimmy Savile inspires new James Bond villain Jim’ll Fiddle It http://bouncesin.com/news/general/item/416-jimll-fiddle-it.html via @@bouncesin

2012-10-05 | Grant says

Yes, absolutely first class. We farthest-flung colonials were, fortunately, spared the worst excesses of ‘popular’ British TV programming including JS. Unhappily, because he came from just across the pond, we got far too bloody much of the ghastly Rolf and I still cringe at the memory of watching things he did on the idiot-box many decades ago. Very much a mono-dimensional talent…

2012-10-05 | Grant says

Splendid effort Christopher, well nailed indeed!

2012-10-05 | Spike says

Blood hell, we are visited by a real writer who knows about stuff like story theory.

2012-10-05 | Barry says

I have considerable sympathy for the teacher/schoolgirl couple, who are obviously devoted to each other. Okay, the 30-year old teacher broke the (British) law by being with a 15-year old, but as you pointed out the so-called age of consent differs from country to country, even within the EU. In France the police were not initially interested as the age of consent there meant no law had been broken. They eventually agreed to search for the couple only to avoid a potential diplomatic incident (ie they were pressured into it by the UK). So he’s a criminal in the UK but not in France. Doesn’t sound very logical to me. Now, he might be jailed for a couple of years, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s there for him when he comes out. So what is achieved exactly? As for JS, the fact that he was a friend of Paul Gadd says it all. But why didn’t all these women come forward a decade or more ago? And I’m not even sure of the effects of such behaviour. In my youth I was molested by a (male) youth club worker and by a lad at school. It didn’t ruin my life. I just shrugged it off and got on with things. Put it down to experience.

2012-10-05 | Grant says

Eclectic too, who’d have thought it? I quite liked ’taunted cockily’, has a rakish, devil-may-care cut to its jib as phrases go. No doubt about it Spike, you’re starting to attract a bit o’ class, must be Pattaya Pussy wot dun it…