It will not surprise you to learn that I like to follow the latest gadget stories. Part of each day is spent catching up on the latest releases in the world of cameras, computers and anything I might conceivably want in my life. Anything released that does not have the Spike seal of approval is roundly mocked and cast aside. Objects that are approved are briefly lusted after and then rejected because of cost, or on the basis that “not even Spike can justify owning that”. Only rarely does something pass through this rigorous and scientific evaluation process and end up joining the massive pile of rarely used toys in my collection.
It was this constant need to keep up to date that had me retiring to bed, iPad in hand, a couple of nights ago. The event was an Apple media briefing to announce new stuff, and they always show zero consideration for their Thailand-based customers by starting these briefings at midnight.
She who must be obeyed joined me in bed, saw me clutching the iPad, and asked “has he left the universe yet?”
Pardon?
Has he left the universe?
Who?
You know, the man who went up in a balloon.
Ah.
She was, of course, referring to Felix Baumgartner. The last time I took the iPad to bed was to watch Mr. B. do his thing, and the sight of it had prompted my wife to demonstrate her lack of knowledge in the areas of cosmology and current affairs.
I explained that Felix had indeed left the part of the universe he had visited in his balloon, and I then settled down to watch Mr. Cook and his cohorts offer us a selection of apparently magical new devices. Luckily for my wallet, they all failed to obtain the Spike seal of approval.
iPad - Tough luck if you bought a retina display iPad in the few months since they were released; because it is now obsolete. Hah! Now there is a new one which is faster; but not much else is new. In particular it doesn’t offer the thin design style and weight reduction of the new iPhone; which means there will be yet another new iPad next year which will be thinner and lighter; and that is when I might replace my current non-retina iPad.
iPad Mini - The iPad that Jobs said he would never make. Like all new products from Apple, it will sell well even though it is obviously not as good as it could be. This one has the thin, light design; but doesn’t have the retina display. Wait for version 2 which will be much improved. Not that I personally want an iPad Mini anyway.
Mac Mini - It’s a little brick of a thing which is now better. As I have no idea what the previous version offered, I can’t tell you much about the improvements in this new one. I just know I don’t want one. Hope you found that evaluation useful.
iMac - Looks fantastic. The 27" will be a lovely machine, provided you don’t mind the fact that you can’t upgrade it, and the likelihood it will melt two days after the warranty period expires. No thanks.
Mac Pro - No update. This means that my 2010 model is still the current version, which is a good thing (for me).
Finally went to sleep at around 01:15, wondering why on earth I bother staying awake for these things. Felt shit the next morning, but had to get straight back to work by reading the reviews on the Microsoft Surface. Don’t want one of those either.
It’s a tough life being professional gadget ridiculer.
Comments 🔗
2012-10-25| Grant saysOh? Not as tough as it was for your far gone ancestors taking the piss out of the French across the field at Agincourt I’ll warrant… Well done, keep the fingers up!
2012-10-25| Spanky saysI have a Mac Mini at work. They are great little machines that can be upgraded. The only down side to them is the graphics card in them is shit.
2012-10-25| Robin Parmar saysCertainly one can summon a lot more ridicule for Apple than that! You’re not even trying… :-)
On a side note, I believe you can collect your partner’s utterances for a book of poetry.
2012-10-25| Clive saysI’d pretty much concur with you on the Mac mini… I am on my second now (won’t be upgrading this time) and mine nestles cosily under the TV, where it works as a DVR (digital video recorder, for us Luddites who refuse Sky+) , as a header unit for iTunes, and of course as a web browser with my TV doing duty as the screen. Works (mostly) well. Only initial gripe was the early editions were limited to 160Gb HDDs, which meant that my stupidly large iTunes library (250Gb-ish) wouldn’t fit.
Solved that with a Time Capsule (which melted when 25 months old) and which has been replaced with a QNAP NAS box which is oodles better…
Personally, I would have rather they spent a bit more time fixing the bugs in iOS 6, but I am only saying that because upgrading my iPad to that release destroyed not just my iPad, but my entire iTunes library too… Took 4 hours on the phone with Tech support last night for them to provide details that should be available on line… And don’t get me started on their attempt to charge me £30 for the pleasure of fixing a fault that they introduced.
It was fun though. I had to give my “what you’re doing here would be considered racketeering by a court of law” speech to 3 supervisors before the penny dropped…
2012-10-25| Grant saysThat’s a fine idea Robin, thenceforth she would be known as SWWMBO, or She Who Writes Many Beautiful Odes…
2012-10-25| Grant saysAin’t modern technology maaarvelous…
2012-10-25| Spanky saysI do IT work when I’m not annoying Grant or Spike. Nothing surprises me anymore with support. It’s a different world for corporate support versus consumer. When I have to do consumer support I tell them flat out what I do so skip the scrip and either give me the fix or give me level two support. If they don’t want to play I ask for a supervisor. Then they will say he/she/it isn’t available and will call me back. Will never happen. Having setup call centers I know they are on timers to clear calls. Evil tactic is say you will happily hold and wait. If they start to make excuses or promises just tell them you know they are on the queue timer so its in their best interest to get a supervisor ASAP. You will be shocked at how fast you are connected. The thing is the supervisor is already aware there is an issue because they have a master console and can see the call timer going up. They are usually sitting there picking their noses watching the damn screen and flashing a light to let the operators know the queues are backing up.
2012-10-26| Bob James saysI love the Mini. Got one for my mom and my dad each. Upgrade to discrete graphics to avoid the Intel chipset.
And, poor Spike, “Mac Mini catches 2010 Mac Pro in benchmarks” http://www.tuaw.com/2012/10/25/mac-mini-catches-2010-mac-pro-in-benchmark-tests/
2012-10-26| Grant saysOh dear…
2012-10-26| Grant saysYou’re not annoying your uncles young Spanky, please don’t think so for a moment. We look upon you as that over-bright hyper-active nephew we never had. A sort of Huey, Dewey and Louie composite on steroids. Boy, that Walt Disney has got a lot to answer for…
2012-10-26| Spike saysThe exact phrase was “getting comparable” which is as useful as “nearly pregnant”. But still, impressive scores and indeed “getting comparable” to the bottom of the range, stock Mac Pro. But nowhere near my 6 core 3.33 GHz beast with 10GB of RAM and upgraded graphics card, which benchmarks some 50% faster. Oh, and I have five hard drives to play with.
2012-10-26| Grant saysTsk tsk, another wet concrete wall…
2012-10-26| Spanky saysIf you are single “nearly pregnant” is damn scary and close enough to the real thing. Not that I know anything about that.
2012-10-26| Spike saysIt’s an idea. Today’s offering was “do you realise your face looks like an abandoned garden?” I knew exactly what she was on about.
2012-10-26| Grant saysWhen she says your face looks like Spanky’s gnarly stump it’ll be time to get concerned…