Safe spots

Prague has just announced that it will set up an area of the city which will be free from the plague. Visitors can rest assured that, within this area, there is no chance of them catching the plague. Prague is now wondering why its tourist arrivals have suddenly dropped.

Not true of course, but Pattaya has just announced a similarly themed guarantee of tourist numbers suicide; safety zones.

A number of “safety zones” are to be established around the city, the first of which is Walking Street. The idea might be commendable, but to potential tourists around the world the message will be that Pattaya is so dangerous that it has had to establish safe areas for tourists. Step outside one of these areas and you are likely to be met with a hail of bullets and a shower of ladyboys intent on mischief (the latter is actually likely). Now, do you still want to book that holiday?

Still, anything that limits visitor arrivals and leaves more space for me is a good thing, so I fully support the initiative. But I have a suggestion for City Hall: amend the requirements for the establishment of a safety zone to simply state “no police.”

The biggest risks to visitor safety are the prowling packs of police officers. They stop traffic and demand money for the most trivial of perceived offences (smiling while driving, running over a small child when only slightly drunk). They have been known to stop people on the street, search them and demand payment. Policemen are the biggest risk to personal safety in Pattaya.

I suggest that the prime requirement of safety zones be that they are police free. Police officers previously stationed in these zones could then be freed up to attend to less important tasks than extortion, such as solving murder and robbery cases.

Comments 🔗

2012-09-29 | Chang Noi says

Pattaya is getting under your skin? What ever happened to that “enterrtainment zones”?

2012-09-29 | Grant says

I heartily second your prime requirement that safety zones be police-free. Perhaps the second requirement for safety zones should be that depressed and suicidal Australians should not be permitted to reside in premises higher than the ground floor. The chance of copping a nasty clout on the napper from the whirling arms and legs of one of these terminally plummetting Antipodean pests is just too great now-a-days and despite the traffic you’re often safer in the middle of the road…

2012-09-29 | Jock says

I got mugged in Prague … a scam that involves you visiting an ATM, then being approached by a guy asking for directions to Charles Bridge (well known landmark) and then 2 guys pretending to be policemen (flashes fake ID) and accusing everyone of drug dealing or money laundering. Quick strip search, let me see your documents (wallet) .. their accomplice as well … and then some fast hands remove the contents of your wallet and hand it back to you.

2012-09-29 | Jock says

Watch Istanbul Taxi drivers as well …. the Turkish Lira now looks like the Euro but is a fraction of the value … dealing in 50s they use it to their advantage … taking Euros and giving change in Lira … also keeping a 50 Lira note handy so when you hand over your 50 euro note they take it and then show you the 50 Lira note … I got scammed once, but never again .. THIS IS A 50 EURO NOTE MATE OK !!

2012-09-29 | Spanky says

Russians have taken up the Pattaya Flying Club craze as well. Hell, they don’t wait for Pattaya anymore. They are doing it at the airport.

2012-09-29 | Spanky says

Prague was an interesting place. The nearest I came was some hooker jumping on my back unasked for and reaching for my wallet which she assumed was in my back pocket.

2012-09-29 | genuinej says

A plague on Prague!. My wife had her purse lifted from her handbag there.

2012-09-29 | Spike says

If you ever went anywhere sober Jock, you might have totally different experiences.

2012-09-29 | Grant says

But not nearly so memorable…

2012-09-29 | Grant says

I thought that was a redundant full stop old chap. I do apologise, just a tiny speck of fly shit on my screen…

2012-09-30 | Barry says

Remember there was a previous scheme designed to boost tourist confidence, when some insane politician decided that all women arriving in the Kingdom should be given a whistle to use if they were attacked? Thais really do live on a different planet, don’t they.

2012-09-30 | Spike says

Politicians, from whatever country, live on a different planet. Thai politicians are no worse than many other places.

2012-09-30 | Grant says

How can we get them all to migrate to Venus?