The great* coffee project

Both of my regular readers will know that I like my coffee. No surprise (to me) that the first ever post on this blog was in praise of my coffee machine, and both the machine and my love for coffee have made regular appearances over the years.

I enjoy most coffee. My coffee, coffee shop coffee, Thai ancient coffee, Vietnamese coffee, coffee from almost anywhere, apart from that warmed up black gruel that sits festering in hotel breakfast areas and is tipped out of glass pots by disinterested waitresses. But I draw the line at instant coffee. I can’t make a mental connection between my perfectly roasted beans and the pile of dirty gravel that is Nescafe Gold Blend. It’s impossible to comprehend that they come from similar sources and serve the same basic purpose. I’d rather drink badger’s urine than assault my taste buds with the vile crap that is instant coffee. My default response when offered a sachet of this muck is to throw it in the nearest wastebasket (or sell it to a passing beggar); but no longer. I have found a use for instant coffee which does not involve having to drink it. I shall develop films with it.

The normal approach to film development is to use the chemicals supplied by the likes of Ilford and Kodak, and that is what I have done so far, with mixed results. But during my trawl through the wide wide world of web seeking information on this arcane process, I stumbled upon a group of people who have abandoned the easy route and opted for an intriguing mixture of instant coffee, Vitamin C and washing soda. For reasons I will never understand, a combination of these substances mixed with some water and thrown in a developing tank with a film for long enough will produce developed negatives. For reasons I will never understand, I have to try it.

And so, the great coffee project. The current film in my camera is being used to take photos of assorted coffee shops, machines, drinks, bags of beans and anything else coffee related that I can point my lens at. Once the film is finished, I will throw it into the strange mixture and see what happens. Hopefully I will end up with some photos of coffee, developed in coffee; and if that isn’t a pointless objective to strive for, I don’t know what is.

The concoction even has a name: Caffenol. There is even a website, with the tag line “…and film doesn’t smell funny any more”. Maybe not, but caffenol itself apparently smells pretty vile, which is understandable given it has instant coffee in it.

*trivial.

Comments 🔗

2012-07-26 | Grant says

Thank Dog your great La Pavoni remains undefiled! Instant coffee is weasel’s piss for the ignorant, the unknowing and those lost without hope. How wonderful that it may finally have found an honest use amongst those far-edge eccentrics who persist in developing their own film in utter defiance of everything we think we know to be sensible, digital and modern. My hat is off to you old chap, come November you shall have chocolate AND coffee… Depedent on results, of course, watching with very great interest!

2012-07-26 | Pete says

I assume that this only works for black and white film? Back in the days (mid to late 80’s) I developed and printed all my own colour films and processed my own slides. I can’t imagine the complicated chemistry involved could have been replaced by Nescafe.

By the way - has Genuinej noticed the misplaced comma in the last sentence in para 4 yet? Retro-edit in 5 .. 4 .. 3 ..

2012-07-26 | Clive says

Without a doubt, you are to film processing what Heston Bulmenthal is to the restaurant business…

Given that Heston’s signature restaurant in the UK is called “The Fat Duck”, I think it obligatory that you come up with a [suitable, related] name for this masterful new technique you are developing. Preferably in iambic pentameter.

I leave it to your other gentle readers to make with the suggestions…

2012-07-26 | Grant says

Certainly not. Clearly ‘Caffenol’ will allow colour film to be processed to show those fabulous retro sepia tones… regardless of anything else.

2012-07-27 | Spike says

2….1….

2012-07-27 | Spike says

Surely it is the enterprise more than the end result that matters (arse covered)?

I assume our delectation will not be a plastic cup of Maxwell House Insta-Freeze Bargain Deluxe accompanied by a slab of Tesco’s cooking chocolate?

2012-07-27 | Grant says

Well, yes. The old life allegory, have a really fun trip because the destination is crap. Better to travel hopefully than arrive, and so on… You assume correctly. Bay Espresso’s finest organic fair trade beans carefully roasted by hand picked virgins (you grind your own I take it, beans that is) accompanied by Whittakers extra dark high-cocoa sugar free, so good that children hate it. All this dependent (got it right there, GenuineJ) of course, on a level of packing that will ensure the contents of my luggage remain undetected by Cobra Swamp’s finest… Now young Spike, on with the Caffenol!

2012-07-27 | Grant says

I see they do a ‘wineol’, I wonder if they will do ‘Scotchenol’ for Jock? If they ever do a ‘Gineol’ I’m in like a robber’s dog, and if they ever do a ‘Dry Martiniol’ I’m screwed!!