Duly presented myself at Bangkok Hospital yesterday for what was described as a thyroid uptake test. This involved knocking back a pill containing a very small amount of radioactive iodine, and then going back to today to see to what extent my thyroid had been fooled into sucking it up.
After taking the pill, we headed down to Paragon where there was Cosplay meet-up in progress, and that provided plenty of interesting photo opportunities, a couple of which I have already shared. More to follow, although I am currently limited to using iPhoto on the iPad and would rather wait till I get home and stick the photos through Lightroom.
I digress. This morning we are back at the hospital and the take-up test indicated that my thyroid had been sucking up iodine like a bastard, although that was not how the doctor described it. He went on to tell us how the process would work and how good it was I was doing this; much better for my health in the long run.
He then took us through the precautions for the next few days, during which time I will be a portable nuclear reactor. Sleep in separate rooms, and no kissing or cuddling was the basic rule. But the question on she who must obeyed’s lips was “what about the cats?” No problem, says the doctor, in the very unlikely event that the radiation affected them, it would take at least twenty years, and cats don’t live that long.
Bad answer, and I could see a lip starting to wobble. I could also imagine that, if a cat jumped off the balcony for a high-speed concrete encounter in seven years time, this would somehow be due to minimal exposure to radiation; and therefore my fault. I therefore suggested that I just park myself in a hotel for the next few days, rather than spending my time trying to avoid the cats who normally want to spend the day on my knee. This was greeted with approval by management.
We then had to wait for three hours for the pill to be obtained; presumably supplies are kept in an underground bunker somewhere in Bangkok. I amused myself by reading the guidelines produced by the “Nuclear Medicine Radiation Protection Care Unit”. Amongst the many restriction is a ban on cuddling babies for four days. As the last “baby” I cuddled was at least nineteen and in a dubious bar in Kota Kinabalu about a lifetime ago, I don’t think this will be a hardship. Oh, and must not become pregnant for the next six months.
Finally, it was time for the dose and I went into a small, dark room where there was a small, dark table. On the table was a lead container and some cartons of water.
I expected the nurse to leave the room, or at least duck behind a lead covered wall; but she spoiled the suspense by opening the container and taking out a little phial, wherein lay the pill of doom.
So, down the hatch with that and I was done. She who must be obeyed headed back to Pattaya as she couldn’t stay with me in our hotel in Bangkok and I headed off for some much needed food.
Now waiting for it to get dark so I can see if I am glowing; but will probably be disappointed. Maybe I will check out the local market for a Geiger counter and then I can impress and scare people in the hotel bar.
Comments 🔗
2012-03-12| Chang Noi saysYou might use an infra-red camera to make a mug-shot of yourself? Sounds all weird …. all the precaution and you are just swallowing the all dangerous pill? Still not have a clue what it is for (will google) but I hope it does for you what you hope it will do. And now go out and cuddle a baby of 19!
2012-03-12| Robin Parmar saysNo amount of radiation will effect your sense of humour. :-)
2012-03-12| JAN sayswhere do all these crazies you photograph come from? Are they a nomal part of street life a la Bangcock or is there a fancy dress do going on ? Current craze in Liverpool & I believe LOndon is for girls to go out shopping &/or partying in curlers and pyjamas !!
2012-03-12| biggrtiggr saysKeep a supply of cooling water around the testicles………… remember Fuckashima
2012-03-12| Grant saysWow! Four days unsupervised in Bangkok and nuclear fuelled… You could dress up as Radioactive Man and check out the Cosplay scene from the inside!
2012-03-13| Spike saysEveryone in Bangkok dresses like this.
2012-03-13| Spike saysFortunately, cool water around the genitals has been an integral part of my lifestyle for years.
2012-03-13| Spike saysI am being transferred in a sealed container to a secure facility in Pattaya today. Will be out on beach road tonight, scrambling the genes of passing ladyboys.
2012-03-13| Spike saysIt’s amazing how almost everything has blog post potential. The nurse was most surprised that I wanted to take a shot of my pill container; I had to explain it was for Pattaya Days.
2012-03-13| Spike saysIt’s all about killing the thyroid. Googling “hyper thyroid radioactive iodine” should tell you all you need to know.
2012-03-13| Grant saysBut they come pre-scrambled…
2012-03-13| Chang Noi saysFound it! Coming from another language I did not realized that is what a friend of mine has in a mild form. He looks like a junk on amphetamine although he can eat 5 hamburgers a day with french fries.
2012-03-13| Spike saysI can relate to that. I am pretty skinny at the best of times, but have lost 5 kilos in the last two weeks since letting the thyroid run free. And I am constantly hungry.
2012-03-13| Camberley saysBest wishes mate
2012-03-13| Barry saysThis is all infinitely more interesting than photos of levitating horses. Good luck, sir.