I like living in Thailand. It is not perfect by any means, but on balance there is nowhere else I would rather be, especially as she who must be obeyed would collapse into a spice-free mess if I took her away from a regular supply of the food she loves.
Living here as a retiree requires an annual visit to the immigration department and I have nothing but praise for the people who work there. Just stand by the doorway for a few minutes and experience the influx of foul smelling, badly dressed, ill-informed, grumpy selection of humanity than arrives expecting service. And that’s just the French. And in response there is politeness and smiles from the Thai staff. Personally I would be going Basil Fawlty on their Gallic arses in a matter of minutes; but I am not designed to service the public.
It’s pretty efficient too. The place is meant to start work at 0830; but when I went to queue at 0800 this morning they had already opened the doors, turned on the aircon and were handing out queue tickets. I was number three in line and was out of the door, with my passport duly stamped, a shade after nine o’clock; and I got a big beaming smile from the nice lady who served me.
My only complaint with the process lies with Her Britannic Majesty’s government, Thailand branch. In order to obtain a retirement visa, you either need a shitload of cash in the bank or a letter confirming income. I never have a shitload of cash in the bank, mainly because any money I do have goes on cameras and other toys, so I need the letter and the British Embassy sees this as an opportunity to make a financial killing.
I presented myself at the local Consul office last Friday and offered them a document that showed the paltry pension I receive. They then call up a standard letter, insert my name, my address and the amount; less than 5 minutes work. And for that they charge 1,800 baht!! Or at least they did last year; this year the cost had risen to a completely ludicrous 2,250 baht. Now you know how they pay for all the lavish cocktail parties.
Still, for such a massive sum, you get instant service; “instant” in UK government speak meaning tomorrow, and forget about weekends. So I battled my way back to the Consul office on Monday morning but the letter was not ready. Plus the official who had to sign it was off for the day having a cocktail party with the ambassador (or so I assumed), so it was late afternoon before I finally received my expensive piece of paper. But the office girls were very apologetic and tried to be helpful; so I just focused my rage on the thieving bastards in the embassy that set the rates.
Next year I’m going for the shitload of cash in bank option.
Comments 🔗
2012-02-22| Camberley saysNext year’s option sounds like a good one.
2012-02-22| Grant says800,000 Baht - can you get interest on that?
2012-02-23| MSB saysGood. Now maybe the embassy can put pork sausages back on the menu at the very important expat breakfast meetings! They were the only reason we went in the first place…..
2012-02-23| Spike saysIt does. Please send the cash.
2012-02-23| Spike saysYes. Stick it in a fixed interest account and you can get around 3%. Lock the account and you can even get a Thai credit card without needing a work permit. Useful if you are a pensioner who has just lost their HSBC Premier credit card….
2012-02-23| Spike saysI think I speak for all of us when I say I sincerely hope you don’t choke on them.
2012-02-23| Camberley saysI was hoping you were going to tell me how