It’s Valentine’s Day (apparently) and the moral police are out in force as usual. Sixty million condoms are being distributed (although I haven’t been given mine yet) and teenagers are being advised that Valentine’s Day is not an appropriate day under Thai culture to have a first sexual experience; although no guidance is being given as to when would be an appropriate day.
Extra police have been drafted in and “officers will be patrolling entertainment venues, motels, apartments with rooms for rent at a daily rate, snooker halls, internet cafes, and any other areas that underage teens may gather to take drugs and engage in sexual activities.” Personally, I am going to patrol an internet cafe and see if I can spot a couple fornicating on the function keys, should make for a good shot.
In Pattaya we have our own unique take on this romantic day, a bid to break the world record for the world’s longest kiss. Entrance to the competition was open to “couples who are husband and wife or lovers as man-man, woman-woman who have been living together for not less than one year”. This seemed to specifically excluded male/female couples who were not married and I immediately lodged a complaint with the International Court of Human Rights, Petty Claims Division.
I went to check out the competition yesterday and was greeted by a stern warning sign:
And quite right too; you wouldn’t want Thai children, who are subjected to the most appalling scenes of violence, mainly against women, courtesy of daily Thai soaps on TV, to witness something as wicked as people kissing each other.
In the spirit of investigative journalism I ventured into the area and found about six couples enjoying a good snog.
They had already been at it for twenty one hours; but the world record is more than forty six hours so they had a while to go. So I decided to return today.
Back again this afternoon, with only one hour till the world record was broken, and three couples remained. One was looking decidedly sweaty and shaky, and the plaster on the chin was a sure sign that things were unravelling:
Sure enough, after a quick lunch and with twenty minutes to go, there were only two couples remaining. Ekkachai and Laksana Tiranarat who hold the current record:
And a couple of gentlemen:
I was rather hoping for a lesbian entry, just to even things up and to give me something to watch while waiting; but no such luck.
They had been standing, lips locked together for more than forty six hours. Nourishment had to be taken through a straw and toilet breaks required kissing to continue which must be a test of any relationship.
Then the mayor of Pattaya turned up which resulted in a local media scrum, one happening right in front of my face:
As the moment of the new world record arrived, cameramen from everywhere appeared; but I managed to hold the GX1 above them and get a shot of the moment:
So, well done me.
After that it was somewhat of an anti-climax. The two couples remained with lips locked, for the couple that lasts the longest wins a bucket-load of cash and a lifetime’s supply of lip salve (possibly).
All completely fucking pointless of course. But hey, it’s Valentine’s Day.
Comments 🔗
2012-02-14| biggrtiggr saysThey shoot horses, don’t they?
2012-02-14| Grant saysNo, but somebody should, then we’d have less pony pictures to wade through! I’m suprised Drew wasn’t here for a photo op with the mayor…
2012-02-14| Spanky saysThe major is pointedly not looking at the two guys kissing in front of him.
2012-02-15| MSB saysare they still going ???
2012-02-15| Barry saysThey Shoot Horses was a deeply depressing but brilliant movie. I believe one of the stars commited suicide afterwards - fortunately not Susannah York or Jane Fonda.
2012-02-15| Spike saysNobody forces you to wade through anything…
2012-02-15| Spike saysI believe the gay guys won after more than fifty hours.
2012-02-16| MSB saysLooks like the gay chaps won. I reckon they have an advantage as its easier to go to the toilet standing up….