Dear Starbucks

Dear Starbucks Thailand,

I often ask myself why I frequent Starbucks. It certainly isn’t for your coffee. I can find better coffee at lower prices at a number of other outlets, and indeed I must admit I can pull a pretty good shot myself with my coffee machine.

But this morning, as with many other mornings, I found myself at your outlet in Central Beach Pattaya for a morning coffee in the company of my dear wife. We go to Starbucks for what I am sure your marketing people call “the Starbucks experience”. We can sit in comfortable chairs, in pleasant surroundings, without being blasted by techno and only occasionally being annoyed by other people’s children, nursing a substantial mug of coffee for as long as we choose.

Only this morning, we couldn’t. Because there were no mugs.

Sacrebleu! I exclaimed (I tend to revert to old French when surprised). Your charming sales lady explained that you are moving to a new logo and the mugs had the old logo so they could not be used. Instead I was given my cappuccino in a crappy cardboard cup festooned with Xmas motifs. If I had wanted a coffee in a crappy cardboard cup festooned with Xmas motifs I would have gone to a cheaper outlet. At Xmas.

Now listen here Starbucks. I understand the importance of brand, I really do. I spent more than thirty years working for an oil company who considered that their rendition of a sea shell was more sacrosanct than Mona Lisa’s leer. But if you are going to change your brand logo, plan it properly. Get your new branded items ready and then swap them for the old. Don’t throw away the old and then fob off your customers with cardboard crap in what could be seen to be as a feeble attempt to clear old Xmas stock.

Were you worried that serving customers with coffee in mugs bearing last week’s brand was somehow going to offend them? Oh my God, this brand is so last week! I demand a refund and might well projectile vomit the coffee over this finally upholstered chair in protest! Hate to let you down, but we are just aware of a green blob on the mug; if it were a different green blob we wouldn’t notice. But if the mug was suddenly a cardboard cup bearing effigies of a reindeer in what appeared to be an advanced state of paralysis, with fairy lights, then yes we definitely would, and did, notice that.

I note your mission statement includes the line: “Develop enthusiastically satisfied customers all of the time”. I am neither enthusiastic nor satisfied and will not be back until you are serving coffee in mugs again, and I don’t care what logo is on the side.

Yours Sincerely, Spike

My wife’s sister enjoying something milky before the days of the old logo ethnic cleansing.

Comments 🔗

2012-01-18 | Grant says

Mai pen rai…

2012-01-18 | Spike says

Pretty much Starbucks attitude as they have yet to reply to my mail. The great thing about these petty annoyances is that my immediate response is “blog post!!”

2012-01-19 | Barry says

Like many things in Thailand, it is far too complicated to do the simple thing, like wait for the new mugs before ditching the old. We know the locals can’t organise even the simplest thing, and this is just another example. Inefficency drives me nuts. Living in Thaialnd, I’m driven nuts often. I think I’m going to kill myself. After a coffee.