She who must be obeyed wanted to “browse” the shops yesterday evening, which always means that I spend an hour or so playing games on my phone in a dark corner, while she lays waste to various retail outlets.
Yesterday the target was cosmetics, and I knew this long before being shown the contents of her shopping bags. To persuade her towards a purchase, the cosmetics staff had troweled on layers of gunk, and then added a rainbow of colours to her face, before finishing it all off with a coating of black tar around the eyes. She looked like a novelty drag act, and I was brave enough to tell her so. This came as no surprise as she knows my preference is for a touch of lip gloss and little else when it comes to make-up, and I would not be seen dead with her looking like she did.
Never mind, we made our way home safely without being spotted and she carried out the first phase of remediation and removal; but the black eyes remained.
While she had been carrying out her pointless shopping, I had been conducting some crucial DVD appraisals and came home with a reduced price Blu-Ray of Taxi Driver. Time for a movie and I put it forward as an option. Having briefly outlined the plot, it was of course rejected and instead she chose One Day, a romantic story which she thought was just what she needed. But I have read the book and know that the ending is not usual babies and puppies vomitathon and so was happy to see what they had done with an adaption for the screen.
Sure enough, we got near the end, something unexpected happened, and I could hear muffled sobbing from the end of the sofa. Result.
End of the movie and I turned and asked “so, how did you enjoy…. OH MY GOD!!”. Yes, I was somewhat shocked to discover that my wife had turned into a Panda. The black eye stuff had run and smudged with the tears with a predictable and hilarious result.
Would you like a bamboo shoot? No? Can I take a photo? NO!!
And she scuttled off for a cleansing, drain-blocking shower.
Which gave me some time to settle down for yet another watch of Scorsese’s wonderful “Taxi Driver”. And this after watching his documentary on George Harrison “Living in the material world” earlier in the day. And this after watching his Dylan and Rolling Stones documentaries last week. I think I am now Scorsesed out.
I have suggested we watch Kung Fu Panda this evening, but that suggestion met with a frosty response.
Comments 🔗
2011-11-24| Wally saysYou appear to continually tread on thin ice in your life, whether at home with SWMBO or on the blog with the likes of young Jeff. You are either a glutton for punishment or an Xtreme adrenalin junkie. But at least it keeps the rest of us amused.
2011-11-29| Spike saysShe is remarkably tolerant.
2012-01-20| Jock saysHilarious … If you can get a photo of SWMBO and sister looking like Panda´s Edinburgh Zoo might be interested … they just paid a fortune to rent 2 Panda´s from China … they plan on making a fortune from selling merchandise … PostCards, T-Shirts etc … maybe there´s a market for Thai Pandas - who knows :-)