Loy Krathong madness

Civilisation does not always progress.

Take Songkran. Originally a gently time where fresh water was sprinkled on the shoulders of loved ones; and now an opportunity for drunks on the back of trucks to spray iced sewage using high-pressure water guns at anyone within range.

Take also Loy Krathong. A time to pay homage to the water spirits by launching a small raft (krathong) made of natural materials onto a lake or sea. In my early days in Bangkok I would go to Lumpini Park and and the lake would be full of krathongs, their candles glowing and their incense sticks smoking the air. A beautiful site and, in the early morning, men with nets would scoop up all the krathongs and the park would be clean.

And then there is Pattaya. Beach Road is rammed with stalls selling the usual tat, with the addition of krathongs made of anything cheap that will float and is not biodegradable. Beach Road hookers are driven into the nearby malls where the bright lighting revealss the true horror of what you would wake up to the following morning, assuming you have not been drugged and robbed.

On the beach, it is mayhem. Small, unsupervised boys play with fireworks and it is a lottery as to whether they will lose a hand or you will lose an eye; you pray for the former if only to teach the little bastards a lesson. Hopeful Thais and bemused tourists light their krathong candles which sputter and are extinguished in the wind before the little boats are launched into the fetid water. There they bob, thousands together, like a sad, crap Marie Celeste convention, before gradually drifting out to sea to be a hazard to windsurfing for a while before sinking to the deep to destroy marine habitats for years.

But worst of all are the lanterns. Paper bags with a wire frame and something dubious soaked in fuel to provide the heating flame.

Thousands of these things were being launched, making trails across the sky as they headed out towards a coral reef to destroy. A change in the wind which blew the lanterns back over the land was mildly amusing, as revellers had burning fuel dripped on them before the floating firebombs crashed into trees and started a localised inferno. I am a man of simple pleasures.

All in all, a monster mess and the beach and the Gulf of Thailand are going to look as tragic as a Beach Road hooker in the cold light of morning (allegedly).

While I was pacing the beach in search of photos, she who must be obeyed was working. Being a dutiful husband, I picked up a krathong for her to float. But she was not in the mood to join what sounded like a war zone, so we took it home and floated it in our fish pond. And by “pond” I mean large bowl, and by “fish” I mean plant, because the fish did not prove my theory that occasional feeding could be stretched to mean monthly.

Loy Krathong sucks, although I am quite pleased with the photo in the previous post.

Comments 🔗

2011-11-11 | Wally says

You forgot to mention the hoards of marauding, unsupervised kids who pounce on Krathongs within milliseconds of leaving your hands and rip them apart looking for the few coins that are placed inside. I remain firmly at home during both festivities mentioned in the blog. I am sure they are wonderful spectacles when performed as intended, but I find both of them increasingly annoying here in downtown Pattaya.

2011-11-11 | Pat Angko says

You forgot to mention that any Thai festival is now poisoned with the sound of fire crackers, which may well start a week before due date. I have two lovely Boston Terriers who are absolutely terrified with every bang which means every 10 seconds to the point that they refuse to eat and hide wherever they can. So much for the poor people, they spend bundles on this rubbish. In the good old day’s (ahem) it was only 31 December but now almost anytime.

2011-11-16 | Hank says

So… leave Pattaya!!! There are plenty of places in Thailand where they celebrate Thai festivals as intended.

2011-11-16 | Hank says

Forgot to mention that i enjoyed reading your posts :)

2011-11-16 | Spike says

But then I would lose the opportunity for being rude!

2011-11-16 | Spike says

Thanks, I enjoy writing them.

2012-01-25 | Jock says

Still far preferable than Hogmanay in Aberdeen these days . or what passes as Hogmanay … and the streets are still awash with spew the next day due to the council cutbacks … sickening …

2012-01-26 | Spike says

Interesting perspective. I always thought that streets awash with spew was due to the infantile behaviour of grown-up children whose idea of a good time is to drink until they vomit and pass out. Clearly I was wrong.