- Wikipedia advises that the correct term is “Personal Watercraft”, but Personal Watercraft Scum does not have quite the same ring to it.
I have a love/hate relationship with jet skis. I hate the people that own them, and I hate the people who rent them out; polluting the air and the ocean with fumes, oil and noise, and occasionally endangering my life with their stupid antics when I am sailing. On the positive side, I love jet skis when they are driven at speed into solid objects and explode on impact, killing the driver instantly.
Fortunately, the latest incarnation of the windsurfing club finds us far away from any jet ski rental locations and they are no longer an annoyance in my life; but they are sure as hell making lots of innocent tourists unhappy.
Walk along beach road any afternoon and you will find jet skis for hire. Rent one at your peril. The happy, smiling, charming beach boys will send you out into The Gulf with a smile and a cheery wave. Upon your return they will transform into utter cunts.
You will be accused of damaging the jet ski which will now, as the result of the minute scratch which has been there for years, have to be taken out of the water for repair. The costs of repair and the loss of business will be astronomical; probably at least 50,000 baht. You will proclaim innocence. They will show you a photo of you on the jet ski before heading out; look, no damage! This is because the image has been Photoshopped while you were out on the water (yes, they actually do this).
More heavies turn up and the threat of violence is in the air. Someone suggests calling the police and a convenient policemen turns up and tells you that you have to pay or else you will go to jail. He “negotiates” a reduction for you, still leaving an obscene amount of cash to be withdrawn from a convenient ATM and handed over to the scum.
Your holiday is ruined and the scum, and all those they pay off, including the police, are a little bit richer.
It’s a disgrace. If only the authorities knew about this.
In fact, they do. In March, spurred on by a local blogger who had the guts to go and photograph the scams in action, the mayor of Pattaya headed down to the beach, gave the scum a jolly good talking to, and then…. nothing.
The mayor’s Facebook page developed into a battleground between his staff who posted regular updates on the mayor’s wonderful achievements, and people posting updates on the continuing scams. The general feeling from City Hall seemed to be that the scams were overstated and that it was just foreigners giving Thailand a bad name.
Then a Thai TV Channel aired a report on the problem (warning: in Thai):
Oh dear. Time for City Hall to call hurried meetings proclaiming that things were being done. Maybe jet ski operators would be registered and maybe they would be encouraged to take out insurance. Maybe there would be booths where you would buy your rental ticket.
And maybe none of this would happen; which is precisely what has happened and the scams continue unabated.
Time for your valiant Pattaya Days reporter to record the scam in action. I went down to the beach today and captured this shot of a couple of jet skis starting a rental.
My intention was to capture them on their return and record the resulting scam. Unfortunately, it was too hot I couldn’t be bothered waiting I didn’t fancy getting my head kicked in I had to leave on urgent business before the jet skis returned to shore.
Maybe (see earlier for the creative use of the word “maybe”) I will try again another day. Meantime, don’t rent a jet ski in Pattaya.
Comments 🔗
2011-08-24| Jamie says“don’t rent a jet ski in Pattaya”
or Phuket.
2012-08-27| Yves Remords saysI live on the bank of the Seine river, in a calm, beautiful forest area with lots of wildlife. Every week-end these jetskijerks invade the place and spoil it. What a cretin’s toy! Ugly looking, ugly sounding, and polluting. They look like farting toads crouching on a dildo.