Free Portal

· 991 words · 5 minute read

If this blog had been running in 2007, I would no doubt have bored you with paragraphs of praise for a game called Portal.

It’s a fairly brief, it’s very funny, it’s a puzzle, it’s an almost perfect piece of intelligent entertainment. And the world agrees.

If you haven’t played it, then you really should; and now maybe you can, for free!

For now there is Portal 2. It’s much longer, it’s even funnier (mainly due to the voice of Stephen Merchant), the puzzles are more diverse, it’s a perfect piece of intelligent entertainment. Those who pre-ordered Portal 2 (and that included me), were given a free copy of the original Portal game; and I am going to give that to you.

“You” in this context means the person who comments on this post with the best answer to the following question:

*If I received an invitation to the Royal Wedding, I would roll it into a tube and insert it anally, because: *

Terms and conditions:

  1. The competition is only open to those who have previously commented on Pattaya Days (apart from Walter).
  2. The winner will be decided on 25th April(-ish).
  3. The game access code will be sent to the email address on the winning comment, so make sure your email is valid.
  4. As far as I know, you will be able to install the game on either Mac or Windows.
  5. Spike’s decision is final; unless you offer money.

Comments 🔗

2011-04-22 | TheSon says

…because my father told me too and I honour and respect him like the shining beacon of wisdom and handsome dignity that he is and I do everything he says without question because I am so very loyal and respectful and there is 3000 Baht in it for you if you pick me.

2011-04-22 | Pete says

Not a reply to the post as I have no idea what Portal is, but I found this on the Wide World of Web the other day and it’s kinda relevant;

http://wins.failblog.org/2011/04/19/epic-win-photos-cancelled-class-win/

2011-04-22 | genuinej says

The Son’s entry is so good that it’s probably unbeatable, particularly so given the strength of nepotism in Thailand, so I’ll not tax my brain further.

2011-04-22 | Spike says

Disqualified.

  1. Because you already have Portal.
  2. Because you also have a free copy having bought Portal 2
  3. I refer you to the “small print”, whereby smart-ass offspring who question their father’s body odour in other posts are automatically disqualified.

However, the money is tempting.

2011-04-22 | Spike says

Oh, go on.

2011-04-22 | Spike says

I would reply to your comment but I am too busy playing Portal.

2011-04-22 | Dog Licker says

Well, I’m sure a Royal Invitation would do wonders for soothing my haemorrhoids. However I already have a copy of Portal - and agree it is one of the most brilliant games ever. Now that I know no. 2 is out I will be searching the App Store for it (no. 2 being Portal game no.2, not “number twos” since they are being hindered by aforementioned haemorrhoids). In my opinion the games disk Half Life 2 plus Portal was probably the best deal I’ve ever purchased (it had Fortress as well but I never played it since my Internet connection is shite). I’m still waiting for the next version of Half Life.

2011-04-22 | Spike says

Available via Steam for the Mac and PC.

2011-04-22 | TheSon says

I’d have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.

2011-04-22 | biggrtiggr says

because……… the trumpet thus formed will add tone to my rendition of ‘God save the Queen’, performed with the aid of the build up of intestinal gas for which I am, justly, famous.

2011-04-22 | Logan Henninger says

I was told that if I didnt that there wouldnt be cake

2011-04-23 | Wally says

Amazing how many new posters come out of the woodwork when a freebie is in the offering! I’m still struggling with Hearts and Solitaire so you can wrap your Portal in the invite and ….

2011-04-23 | genuinej says

You could have disqualified TheSon for the incorrect use of too in his first post, which has an o too many, though I suspect this may be partly due to poor parental guidance.

2011-04-23 | Guildford says

Obvious really - you have to RSVP

So return it to the arsehole that issued it!

P.S. The disjointed Pattaya Days heading still jars in an otherwise perfectly formed site (that’s me disqualified)

2011-04-23 | Spike says

He is such a disappointment to me. Never done drugs, made his own way and had a successful career, a caring person with a fine sense of humour; and then the bugger throws it all away with an extra ‘o’. I am altering my will.

2011-04-23 | Spike says

Indeed it is.

2011-04-24 | Billy the Brush says

If I received an invitation to the Royal Wedding, I would roll it into a tube and insert it anally, because:

“I no longer wear a tie and it an excellent way of reminding oneself to do something and, as a bonus, it will constantly remind me also of what a pain in the arse our next monarch is”

God save the Queen

2011-04-25 | Spike says

Logan’s was the most elegant offering; but the reference to cake indicates he has already played Portal; and he is a first time commenter. That leaves two, biggrtiggr and Billy. Billy wins it because there is less reference to farting and more disdain for the monarchy. Congrats Billy, prepare to be amused and challenged in equal measure.

2011-04-25 | Spike says

Oh, and you didn’t actually answer the question.

2011-04-25 | Spike says

The rest of you can buy Portal for $9.99 here: http://store.steampowered.com/app/400/?snr=1_4_4__13

2011-04-27 | Wentworth says

Is it available for the Vic 20?

2011-04-27 | Spike says

Yes, but you need a 16kb RAM expansion module to run it.