When I was thrown onto the junkheap of humanity by being forced into early retirement (Ed: oh please), the blow was slightly softened by a sizeable chunk of cash. A portion of the funds were allocated to the acquisition of a new TV, the remaining balance was donated anonymously to a worthwhile charity (Ed: oh please).
The TV was necessary partly because my existing Sony CRT had evolved to the stage where it could display any colour you like as long as it was a shade of vomit; but also because I had always fancied a Pioneer; and this was a time to get one. So, hello 42" Pioneer Plasma slab of loveliness and for a while I was content. But then came HD and Blu-Ray and my Pioneer couldn’t handle that; so it had to go.
I tried dropping cats on it, hoping they might pull it over; but it wouldn’t budge. Even a hard bump with an elbow wouldn’t do the job. So I waited, knowing that one day it would cough and die. And last week it did. “We can get it fixed” proclaimed she who must be obeyed, not understanding the gadget-greed imperatives that were burning in my soul. I explained it was an old model and spares would be hard to find, and any repair, even if possible, would be expensive. But we would try, I told her, adopting a look of sad-eyed pessimism. So the men came and took it away. I reckon I had about 3 days to buy a new one before they called back and told me they had changed a fuse and all would be well for another five years of reliable use.
With a limited acquisition window, it was down to Power Buy in Central Mall. I knew what I wanted. A sodding big 55" Samsung LED model, with none of that stupid 3D nonsense. So I was bewildered to find myself leaving an hour later with a 3D capable 46" Samsung LED TV. What the hell happened?
First of all, they didn’t have the model I wanted, which rather threw me. Then she who must be obeyed was of the opinion that 55" was just too big for our viewing area; and you don’t argue with she who must be obeyed unless you have weapons and a planned escape route. Then the salesman led me to an admittedly smart 46" model which was reduced in price and was offered along with a free 3D Blu-Ray player and two pairs of viewing glasses. Then he told me we could have 8% discount if we used a particular credit card, which she who much be obeyed happened to have as part of her extensive credit card collection. Then he told me I could pay over four months with no interest. Faced with such an onslaught of benefits, I caved and handed over she who must be obeyed’s magic card.
This is what happens when you take the wife technology shopping, you end up with something other than you were planning (and you get 8% discount and free credit).
Arrive home, and the efficient men from Power Buy are waiting with our new toy. They managed to rig it up without breaking anything and only put the batteries the wrong way round in one of the remotes. And there it sat, looking no bigger than the previous model and certainly nothing like the overpowering monster I had envisaged. I feel slightly sad. We don 3D glasses and watch an animated movie. The smallness of the screen is emphasised when only a small part of your viewing area contains a TV which is throwing out only partially convincing 3D images. My feeling of sadness is compounded with slight nausea from the 3D.
She who must obeyed comments that the 3D looks pretty crap on a small TV and apologises for making me take the 46". This is a win in the constant battle that is marriage and I resolve to press home my advantage. I re-adopt my practised look of sad-eyed pessimism, admit I am very disappointed and then immediately implement plan B.
I have a friend who has also been seeking a new TV and I immediately call him and offer him my nearly new model. A deal is done, part of which is that he will buy me a new TV and we will settle for the difference.
So the day after buying a new TV I am out looking to buy another new TV. Knowing that Power Buy don’t have what I want, we go to Numchai who do, because I saw it there a couple of weeks ago.
I want this TV.
No have stock
Oh.
But we will sell you this demo model at 5k off.
You mean this dusty, dirty TV, covered in finger marks?
Yes. No.
Off to Carrefour where there is nothing bigger than 30" available; typical French. Our last resort is the truly awful Homeworks, home to the sales assistant horde and limited stock. True to form, they don’t have the model I was after; but they do have another one which is actually better, and substantially reduced. But again it is the last one in the store; but it looks fresh and clean and is just sitting there rather than cycling some crap demo. I’ll take it.
We then sit back and watch the party as approximately seven incompetents remove it from the stand and try and insert it into a box which is actually meant to contain a (more expensive) model. Every permutation of Styrofoam retainer placement is tried before they finally manage to stuff it in. Then we take it to my friend’s truck and he is insistent it will fit in the back seat. It doesn’t, so we poke it out of the back of the rear and hope it survives the trip home. It does, and in no time at all it is up and running and looking wonderful. But one of the supplied cables doesn’t fit. Check the plastic bag of bits they gave me and find that it relates to an completely different TV. Useless bastards.
Back to Homeworks where it takes some time for them to understand what is wrong, in spite of pointing at the TV reference on the invoice and then to the reference on the warranty in the bag of bits and indicating that they bear no relationship to each other. So they wander off to a drawer to look for the correct bag. After ten minutes I wander off to another drawer and find it for them. Useless bastards.
Get the correct bag home to find that it contains the correct lead; but that another lead that should be in the bag is missing. Decide I am unlikely to need the lead and just can’t bear the thought of facing Homeworks again. Useless bastards.
Trawl through forums to find setups that will bring out the best in the TV. Key in about 30 changes. Turn off TV. Turn on TV and changes have all gone. Try again, same result; this TV will not save changes, what is wrong? Back to the forums and discover TV is in Store Mode, designed to stop customers permanently changing TV settings, and something that should be removed before giving to a customer; which Homeworks had failed to do. Useless bastards.
Spend time trying to find out how to remove Store Mode and slight disappointed when The Son finds the answer before I do; but at least the problem is resolved and I can play with settings.
And the resulting picture is very impressive; but to be honest I think a 60" would provide a better experience. Anyone want to buy a nearly new 55’ TV?
Comments 🔗
2011-04-04| jim lee saysSo size does matter then!
2011-04-05| Spike saysNot according to she who must be obeyed; but she was just being kind.
2011-04-05| genuinej saysI’m impressed that SWMBO can remember, or have you made that up?