My penchant for blue plastic piping will have been noticed by both my regular readers; and so when she who must be obeyed expressed a need for a home studio backdrop, I was sure there would be a role for blue piping.
What was required was a frame onto which we could hang assorted coloured backdrops. The backdrops would have to be capable of being rolled down for use, and rolled up again for storage, and we could buy a custom device for around 20,000 baht.
Instead we spent 790 baht on two shitty clothing hanger devices, the sort of thing you see in markets, thinly chromed and tragically constructed. Excellent, and all we needed then was a 2.20 metre length of pipe around which we could wrap a backdrop. Which was why I found myself at the Contractor Store area of HomeWorks this morning. Unlike the main store, which is staffed with thousands of blue coated staff who are eager to please but know nothing, the Contractor Store featured a surly guard who would not let me reverse into the loading bay until I had bought something to load, and a couple of surly attendants who clearly hoped I didn’t want anything.
Tough luck lads, I’m here for blue pipe and nothing can stop me! What’s that, I can only buy a 4 metre length? That’s almost twice as much as I need and about twice as long as the storage bay in the back of my truck. What the hell, I’ll take two and let’s see if I can get them home.
Cash changed hands and the surly boys took my pipes, stuck one end in the back of my truck and then leaned them against the cab, so the whole stuck up in the air at 45 degrees and to an alarming height. I offered rope but was shunned as a thin plastic tie was employed; sufficient to get me out of sight but maybe not all the way home. Anyway, first I had to go to the main store, so I drove to the car park and reversed under the awning, going slowly as I was mindful of the pipe; but there were no ominous noises.
Back from a brief shopping trip with blue-coloured horde and off home. Moved about half a metre and there was a terrible ripping noise. Oh dear. The pipe had gracefully slid under the tarpaulin awning on the way in, and gracefully torn a large hole in it on the way out. Thankfully, my blue plastic pipe was undamaged. Not far away a gang of car washers had stopped work and were watching to see what I would do next. The only decent thing to do would be to present myself to the manager of HomeWorks and offer to pay for the repair of his awning. The only sensible thing to do would be to drive away quickly.
Ten minutes later I was safely home.
Thirty minutes later we had a backdrop.
This afternoon, she who must be obeyed went out and bought two more backdrops; which means I need one more length of pipe. So off to HomeWorks again tomorrow, I wonder if the manager will be waiting for me.