It’s always good to start the new year by reading complete nonsense in the local press. I found this latest offering in The Pattaya Times; but other publications have picked it up and published it verbatim without resorting to the ridicule it deserves.
The heading of the article is “Pattaya Master Plan Excites Investors”. Given that we are currently in a depressed market with a substantial oversupply of property, this can only be a clue that massive bullshit is about to descend.
The essence of the article is that the Designated Areas for Sustainable Tourism Administration (DASTA) has taken over planning for Pattaya’s infrastructure. This is not news. DASTA decreed that Pattaya would fall under their remit nearly two years ago; although nothing seems to have happened since then. But now they have announced a 15 billion baht project “designed to turn Pattaya City, Asia’s leading beach resort, into an evolved, world-class, “greenovative” tourism city by 2017”.
Pause till we all stop laughing.
No details on how the fifteen billion baht will be spent, but there are 132 projects involved; and somewhere in the mix is the erection of 3 hotels on a nearby island which is currently relatively under-developed. Perhaps “greenovative” means slapping down concrete and building stuff for the mutual benefit of all those involved apart from nature.
Apparently the city is going to be zoned; which means that if you want to build a disco in the middle of a housing estate, you will have to pay more tea money than previously. Waste-water management is going to receive attention; which is good news because the cesspit that is currently the Gulf of Thailand could do with more swimming fish and less floating shit and used sanitary towels.
And what will be the result of all this greenovative action? Well, by 2017, tourism numbers are going to skyrocket from 7 to 30 million per year, and everyone is going to stay up to three times longer than before. Revenues will accordingly increase massively to 300 billion baht, up from the current paltry 60 billion baht. Pretty exciting news, except there is zero information on how this is to be achieved. Less floaters in the sea is hardly going to pull in the crowds. Of course, all these extra numbers are going to put a massive strain on the infrastructure and any improvements that have been made will be overwhelmed and they will have to start all over again with greenovative 2.
The report concludes “In 10 years’ time, if nothing were done, Pattaya would face many problems such as tap-water shortages, mafia control and traffic congestion, analysts say.”
And where do these analysts live? Not in Pattaya obviously. If they did they could sit in a monster traffic jam, surrounded by water trucks transporting water to various locations because the city hall system does not work; and while waiting they could read about the jet ski mafia, the baht bus mafia, the motorbike taxi mafia; and ponder all the other assorted mafia groups who run this blighted city.
But back to the title of the piece. How do we know that this plan excites investors? Because an executive says so. “A major investment firm executive which asked not to be identified said the property values in Pattaya will skyrocket in the next few years.” Of course he is right. With twelve times as many tourists swilling around the city at any one time, the desire to own property will reach fever pitch and even houses built next door to a disco in a residential zone will fetch inflated prices.
No wonder the spokesman requested anonymity. However, based on previous ludicrous pronouncements, it was probably someone from Raimon Land who are about to launch their magnificent new Zire project in Pattaya (in a similar manner to the way they launched their magnificent new Lofts project which they then quietly cancelled). So we can be sure that the prediction of soaring prices is based upon solid market research and not a pathetic attempt to talk up the market to sell condo units.
And in other news, the Thappraya road project is still not complete. Maybe by 2017….
Comments 🔗
2011-01-06| Mike saysI agree that Thappraya Road may be ALMOST completed by 2017. You may be missing the point however. I get to spend (waste) all my free time (since retired) watching things like traffic lights @ crosswalks which is a game like dodge ball for many tourists. Counting all the people standing along Beach Road looking for work but forgetting to put up any signs. By far the best time wasting activity is to watch how they can build condos on a postage stamp size lot, nevermind about the view of the condo three feet away. If there is land we will build it should be the slogan for Pattaya.
2011-01-06| Spike saysMy point was that the article is bollocks; sorry if I did not make that sufficiently clear.
2011-01-06| Bangkokram says“The report concludes “In 10 years’ time, if nothing were done, Pattaya would face many problems such as tap-water shortages, mafia control and traffic congestion, analysts say.”
Eeerr I would say that is what things are pretty much like now.
Pattaya should look at Mallorca, in the 1990’s they imposed a 4% green tax on everything on the Island. The hideous hotels built in the 60’s and 70’s aren’t being modernised, they are being compulsory purchased and bulldosed. New Hotels need to be carbon neutral. It has definately worked, their are only a couple of dodgy spots now on Mallorca and they are getting smaller. Water quality and distribution has been addressed and most importantly of all Politicians can be fired by the public if there is a wiff of corruption.
If Pattaya could become half as good as Mallorca, that would improve the life of everyone who lives and visits there. However, we are talking about Thailand.
2011-01-06| Mike saysSpike you did, but I just had to write about TIT
2011-01-07| FUMF saysI may be a bit slow as I haven’t had my two coffees yet - but is DASTA a piss-take? It is so close to a more appropriate acronym that I imagine it is. e.g. Designated Identified Suitable Areas for Sustainable Tourism Administration i.e. DISASTA
2011-01-08| Spike saysIt’s real: http://www.dasta.or.th/en/about/about.php
But of course it could still be a piss-take
2011-04-09| HALI YIKAMA saysReally useful. Thanks for your efforts. Appriciated.
2011-04-13| Spike saysReally lame. Thanks for your spamming. Not appreciated.
2011-11-14| wigbizaa says10
2011-12-10| Angie Kastendieck saysYou have lots of useful pointers on this site. This is a well written article that I have bookmarked for future reading. Have a fun.