An excellent diet plan

· 345 words · 2 minute read

What a month. Frantic decorating, followed swiftly by frantic shitting; and now we are in the totally sealed arse phase, after ingesting a pharmacy’s worth of Imodium. Life can be bliss sometimes; but not right now.

On the plus side, I lost three kilograms in four days which must be some sort of achievement. Never knew poo weighed so much.

Still not feeling up to doing anything taxing, such as writing; which is a shame because I have watched a couple of truly awful movies which I need to warn you about. The only thing that got me out of my chair today was a flower that neighbour Nik had nicked from a nearby garden. Rather splendid and it demanded to be photographed, so I did:

From my year of study at Kew Gardens for my Doctorate in Tropical Flora, I can tell you that this is a Crinum asiaticum Linn. Either that, or she who must be obeyed told me. She also had a go at photographing it herself, and I rather fear she did a better job than I did. Grounds for divorce I’m afraid.

Comments 🔗

2011-01-24 | Ray says

I’ll stand corrected (and you know me and flora eh!) but I do believe it’s actually Hymenocallis Harrisiana (spider lily)

If not, it sure bloody looks like one!


2011-01-24 | biggrtiggr says

I imagine that the degree of weight loss possible during such an attack is proportional to how full of it one is at the onset.

P.S. A rose by any other name etc………..


2011-01-25 | Spike says

Bigtiggr, Guilty as suggested.

Ray, as an expert in the field, you should know that the Hymenocallis genus is native to tropical and sub-tropical America only; whereas Crinum Asiaticum, as the name suggests, is found in Asia.

I agree they look very similar, although the staminal corona are markedly different.


2011-01-25 | biggrtiggr says

Has the staminal corona of spicus siamus also been differently marked by its exposure to the recent severe conditions?


2011-01-25 | Spike says

Damn right, can hardly walk straight.