If I had to rank myself with others of my sex, then I would describe myself as a lambda male; firmly positioned in the lower portions of the Greek alphabet along with all the other wimps. I therefore find it somewhat humbling to find myself in the presence of an alpha male; but such was my encounter recently.
I waited to meet him in the lobby of his hotel. He was late, out on some mission to secure peace in Korea probably (or maybe just in his room having a shit). But when he walked, nay strode, into the foyer; the impact was electric. Men wanted to be him, women just wanted him. In profile, there was a hint of Clint Eastwood, although that was not a gun that bulged every so subtly from his trousers. As the light caught his face we saw a glimpse of the carefully trimmed stubble, the steely eyes and the teasing smile. Here was man who knew his position in the food chain, and it was somewhere near the top.
With the tang of testosterone hanging in the air, he walked up to me, scattering lesser minions in his wake. “Got something for you” he growled, and slung an exquisitely formed Tesco’s plastic bag across the table. Then he was gone, back to his room to meditate; carelessly brushing off the attention of assorted groupies as he entered the lift.
The silence that had greeted his arrival was broken and those who had witnessed his brief visit were left wondering who the great man had been.
I knew. It was genuinej, and shame on anyone thinks I have over-stated his physical presence just because the Tesco’s bag contained several packets of Crunchies and Flakes from the UK.
I had a plan to photograph them all; but I have already eaten them. And so I await the return of the alpha male, hopefully bearing similar gifts, next year. Again, I will find it hard to describe his magnificence; unless he does not bring me chocolate, and then I will tell you what he really looks like.
Comments 🔗
2010-12-22| Billy the Brush saysGosh, didn’t realise you price was so low, a DHL parcel of Flakes and Mars bars will shortly be in the air. Could you please remove the “ever so subtly” bit and replace it with “hugely”. Thanks.
2010-12-22| Spike saysI’ll add in “protuberance” if you like, but you will have to do better than Mars bars, can buy them in the shop down the road.
2010-12-22| genuinej saysI think you’re taking the piss. My own take on my ranking would place me just after omega, and that’s well ahead of my wife’s assessment of me. Regarding Posh skeleton, I don’t think I would.
2010-12-22| Billy the Brush says“I think you’re taking the piss”
You were always sharp GJ, no getting anything past you, I can see …
2010-12-23| Spike saysAny man that can be bothered to acquire a large supply of chocolate and deliver it half way round the world has my respect. In my eyes genuinej, you are a colossus amongst men.