Life with she who must be obeyed is sometimes like watching a David Lynch film; it’s an enjoyable experience, but you don’t have a fucking clue what is going on.
And so it was over the last week or so, with many calls to her mother and other family members to discuss a matter of great importance which had yet to be revealed to me. Eventually it was announced that the family was to make merit by donating a large Buddha statue to a temple in their home town. It had also been decided that Phitsanulok was the world centre for the purchase of Buddha statues and that she who must be obeyed would drive my truck to collect the statue and then deliver it to the other end of the country.
At this point, the less experienced would have waded in with arguments that started with “the hell you are” and then diverted into issues of road safety and the likely availability of statue delivery services as an alternative. But I have learned to keep quiet until plans are firm before destroying them with well-intentioned but not always well-received logic. And in this instance it ended well, with big Buddha statue vendors being discovered in her home town; and at a lower price; so double win.
Then came the inevitable question: would I like to accompany my wife and her family to this important merit making event? Under these circumstances I have learned that is dangerous to offer arguments as to why such a trip may not be a good idea for me; this only invites counter-arguments and eventually, proper arguments. It’s also unwise to be flippant with “I’d rather French-kiss a skunk”. So I just say “no”. Although in this case I was able to say “gosh, I would love to do that but I am booked for a photo assignment all weekend”.
So I put she who must be obeyed on a plane to Ubon yesterday (or more precisely, I took her to a bus in Pattaya that would take her to the airport). She returns on Monday and I am planning a pretty wild time while she is away. Firstly there is the photo assignment, three days of polo which will generate at least three more days of photo processing. When I am not doing that I am preparing and submitting photos to a stock site. Yes, It’s going to be a long weekend on the computer, interspersed with standing in the sunshine with heavy camera gear, praying I will not be run over by a horse.
One of my more obnoxious readers has suggested that my current, more sedentary, lifestyle is an indication of the onset of drooling in a wheelchair. The reality is more mundane, I need the cash.
My monthly income comes courtesy of a pension in UK pounds. Not so long ago, the exchange rate was around 70 baht to the pound and we could live comfortably on that with some spare for toys. Now it is 47 to the baht and we can still live OK; but with little left for what I consider the essentials of life (computers, games, cameras etc). So to fund my little pleasures I need to generate some extra income. I could offer myself as “a consultant”, but I was never really sure what skills I possessed which enabled me to function while in employment; so it would be difficult to sell myself (“I am world-class at drinking coffee and bullshitting”). And anyway, being a consultant means wearing proper clothes and sitting in an office and talking crap; and I have done enough of that for one lifetime.
So instead I have chosen to sit in my T-shirt and underpants and offer the fruits of my creative endeavours to photography stock sites. This involves trawling through my catalogue of snaps to discover shots that might sell, as well as taking new shots; such as the couple of thousand snaps of little sister which I am still working through.
She who must be obeyed has additional ideas for what might sell, such that I have enough to keep me snapping, processing and keywording for many months. Hopefully, some sort of income will arise from this. If it doesn’t; well it is still rather fun to do; unlike sitting in an office and talking crap.