Some reasons not to undertake property development in Pattaya right now:
Civil unrest
A saturated housing market where nothing is selling
Obscene exchange rates
But I must be too pessimistic, because there are a rash of new developers spending money on posters, brochures and fancy sales offices, hoping to persuade punters to part with some cash; after which they may or may not start to build something.
Took she who must be obeyed to Starbucks in Central Beach Road a couple of days ago and discovered that a nearby unit had been converted to a swanky sales office for a development called The Koral.
Sticking the word “the” in front of a a random word is the latest trend from property developers, desperate to come up with a name which will hint at opulence and exclusivity. Naming a development “Crumbling Towers” doesn’t say much, but “The Crumbling Towers” tells the world that this is the special crumbling towers; out of all the crumbling towers on offer, this is the one. Utter bollocks of course.
Substituting a K for a C in a word is a currently cool (sorry, kurrently kool) thing to do; as in Mortal Kombat (computer game) and Korea (Editor: are you sure you have your facts right? If so, kool).
And so we have The Koral, which is already sufficient reason for not wanting to live there.
But the brochure was opulent; printed on thick, quality paper in full colour and stuffed with computer generated images, illustrating what The Koral will look like should they ever get round to building it. And with encouraging text written in English; sort of. It starts with “Millions of travelers from around the world know Pattaya as a city of vibrant.” No, I didn’t leave a word out; they did. And there is more. “Uniquely design for timeless style”. “As you step out the landscape is surrounded minimal tropical garden”. The lovely, expensive brochure, clearly designed for attracting English speaking customer, is grammatically buggered.
Why do they do this? How hard would it be to have the wording checked by a native English speaker before printing? For goodness sake, they could just walk up to someone and ask them to take a look.
Hello, do you speak English
Yeah. But. No. But. Yeah
Can you check our slogan please? It’s: “Luxury living in the beach lifestyle”.
Nah, that’s no good, innit. Wanna use “Buy this condo you fucker or we’ll come and burn the fucker down. Fucker”
Thank you for the correction. What’s your name by the way?
Jeff Savage, innit.
OK, so the name is crap and the brochure is flawed, but the actual show units were rather pleasant. Good use of space and the view out the front across beach road was OK. “I’ll take this one, I like the view”, I told the flustered sales girl. “No, no, no, you have to see real site” she said.
So I looked in the brochure, and this was the view:
Very nice elevated view of Pattaya bay. Looks very similar to the view that you get from the lookout point at Pratumnak hill. Hang on; it IS the view you get from the lookout point at Pratumnak hill!
So we went to the lookout point to check the view, and indeed it was the same:
And this is the lookout point area, not enough space for a new development; hardly got space for another food cart:
And of course this is because the view in the brochure is a photoshopped lie.
The actual site is 10 kilometres away from where the photograph is taken, at a location which is more than three kilometres from the seafront. Maybe you will be able to catch a distant view of the sea from one of the higher units; but I doubt it; although the brochure states that you can have sea view, garden view, pool view or mountain view. But then, neither did I spot any mountains. Or a garden.
The good news is that development is only 2 minutes from Pattaya City Centre, according to the brochure. As Pattaya is about 15 kilometres away, this means they must be providing some sort of shuttle bus that can get there at an average of 450 kilometres an hour. Worth the price of investment just for that, I reckon.
Anyway, work seems to almost underway at the construction site:
So get yourself down to the sales office and agree to purchase several units, provided that they guarantee the view printed in their brochure; and that they change the name to The Kon.
Comments 🔗
2010-05-23| Brunty saysSpike have you checked your mates Sompost.com site of late.
Looks like Google shut him off. I hope this is the case I complained enough and others as well it seems.
2010-05-23| genuinej saysDear Spice,thanks for the Pattaya pussy, but it’s all downhill from there. At the risk of becoming the verbal equivalent of Jeff (twat) Savage I wish to bring the following to your attention: Is a rash, not are a rash. Sentences should not start with the word “and” as it’s a conjunction. Is there a “be” missing from work seems almost…, but even then it becomes a split infinitive, View from the front, not out the front. Beach Road should start with capital letters. When in Thailand isn’t the word same always followed by the word same? Why not Krumbling Towers and krap rather than crap; some inconsistency here, methinks! I can’t help being a kunt sometimes. Love your site though and will probably bring a Kadbury’s flake or two for you in November. (5 Sunday lunch pints plus a bottle of Zinfandel)
2010-05-24| mickyb saysI have to agree, why all the property development when bugger all is selling,( except condos )i seriously think there is some booming Russian market in the housing that we cant grasp,.i personally know of people that paid 10 mill for properties they arent having veiwed at 5 mill,to quote our parents " Put your money into bricks and mortar" does not it seem extend to Thailand ,we rented a condo in view taly 8 years ago for 8000 a month, the rent is the same now, says it all, RENT
2010-05-24| Spike saysgenuinej, you had me at flake, didn’t bother reading the rest.
2010-05-24| Spike saysBrunty, I complained too. After a while the Thailand component disappeared, and now it seems to be reduced to a fireworks display over Ankor Wat with links to obscure (Chinese?) websites.
I think we won!
2010-05-24| Barry saysI thought they’d outlawed false advertising. Oh sorry, I forgot. They might have passed a law, but…. well, you know. Talking of Thai-style English and can’t be assed to check it, soon after I moved to this clean and peaceful land I was asked by a friend of my wife to write a blurb for some business she was starting. I did, but the friend turned it down as it was bad English. I earn my living as a writer, in English, so I thought,‘Hmm. Interesting’ Guess if her company failed. Prats.
2010-05-24| Brunty saysIt is amazing that Google would listen to little us. Maybe a win for the small guys.
2010-05-25| todd saysthat view shot is a disgusting lie. that’s blatant false advertising. south east of pattaya, on the darkside, miles away from anything, crap location.
2010-05-25| todd sayslook at the video on the website.
total lie
2010-05-25| Pete saysThat video is hilarious!!
“in shady surrounding” “you are close to all happiness”. Shady being the operative word here.
Cleverly done though; there’s a lot of cgi work gone into making that. Wish I was that good ……
2010-05-25| Pete saysTodd - thanks for linking to the website. It’s made me laugh more than an episode of ‘Blackadder’.
According to their location map, Soi Chaiyapreuk now links directly to Pattaya beach and is only 2 minutes away. Lotus is only slightly further away from the crossroads than the 7/11 which is actually on the corner. Where did the other 4 kilometres go?
Classic!! Tears running down my cheeks.
I live up soi Chaiyapreuk 2, not far past where these jokers are trying to con people, and it takes me at least 20 minutes on a good day to get from home to South Pattaya on my little 125cc 2 stroke, which does go like the proverbial off a shiny shovel when I’m riding it.
I can’t see the beach from there either.
2010-05-27| Peter saysI like the name, “The Koral”. It has a nice ring to it. Ask a Thai to read it, an “L” at the end of a Thai syllable is always pronounced “N” so the property becomes “The Koran”. Not a great selling point.
2010-05-27| Spike saysWell spotted!
2010-06-15| Boy saysJeff I heard that the “Koral” is the root word from German langauge. The meaning is similar to “Coral” In English.
I bought there for two units. I love the area and I think still cheap good for investment.Now the broject have two shuttle buses for free service arround pattaya.
I am the one who like that area because I like to stay in the tranquil area in stead of the mid town. I think very good..for me,,I love the swimming pool...Bacause I been to look their project in BKK...very nice coz they are finished now...will transfer soon and the design is similar to the Koral Pattayou..but In Bkk have 6 building ....the name is Baannavatara...
2010-06-15| Spike saysThey may tell you there will be shuttle buses and a pool; but their advertising also tells you the site is on a hill overlooking the city; which is a lie.
Good luck with your “investment”.
2010-06-15| boy saysBefore I decided to phurchase I went to see the location with The Koral’s Van.The staff told me very truly she said from the forth floor can have distance bayview because the location is high lavel from the sea water..She gave me corectly information and that because her English is very good (coz she have some degree from the US.)
And also I have a friend who have a house at Paradise villa. On ther 2nd floor can over looks very nice distance bay view so by the Koral location,Posible by 4th floor also can over look bay view.I beleive that because its based same level and distance as Paradise villas
Physician from a most famous hospital in Pattaya still be my nighbor..He bought 3 units..I meet when I go to sign a contract.
So different people difference idea..!! Walk in the middle of road is good for life ..minus attitude is good for protect yor self but not for all thing…Happiness is easy to find out if only we can look at the world as the way it could be!!!
2010-10-14| AL Kerr saysHI
I have signed up for a unitnoticed the false advertising but viewed the siteand was happy with the locationhope they do build it. AL.
2010-10-14| Spike saysGood luck!
2010-10-14| genuinej saysAl, you must be one of those ones that’s allegedly born every minute!
2010-10-14| Billy the Brush saysWas it not hope that followed a dust cart and thought it was a wedding?
2010-10-20| Pepe Le Pew saysI haven’t bought any units yet but I think I will. It all reminds me of that time I bought a load of Gems in Bangkok. Sold to me by a lady with an Engrish degree. She assured me they were once owned by a very famous person and that I could buy them for 10,000 baht and they would be worth 100,000 baht back in Europe. I bought them because a famous Doctor from a Bk hospital was buying some at the same time.
Anyway, time to get back on the boat I just walked off of. Save some condos for me!
2010-10-26| jim saysGreat banter - I loved it all.
2012-08-10| noeleen saysdo you have any news about the project because i bought one unit cash and no news since two years ; just assistant that the project has been delayed because of flood of december which delay their othrr project in Bankok
2012-08-10| Spike saysThis was the status last October (before the floods): 2011_10_impressive-progress-at-the-koral
I don’t think it has changed since then but will have a look next time I go past.
2012-08-10| TheSon saysHow are you enjoying your investment so far?
2012-08-11| Pete saysWhat a strange coincidence. Only yesterday I searched PattayaDays for Koral to see when your last update was, as I was going to comment on it. I pass by there on a daily basis at the moment and the progress has been fantastic! The floods (??? I live 200m away and there weren’t any!!) must have done it a world of good because the foliage has now nearly totally reclaimed all the ‘gravestones’ of fallen investors. Sorry Noeleen - look at the pictures in Spike’s link above and mentally add more grass, and you have the picture today. I can actually take one tomorrow and send it to you if it will help you retrieve your funds.
2012-08-11| Pete saysThinking about it in the shower just now, (some of my best thinking is done there!), I read some more into Noeleen’s comment. “just assistant that the project has been delayed because of flood of december which delay their othrr project in Bankok”. This smells like a Ponzi scheme to me; they can’t finish the first project because of the floods = possibly valid excuse. They can’t do anything on the next project in the meanwhile = they’re using the money from the 2nd project to fund the first.
I don’t see anyone getting their apartment at “The Koral” until there’s a bunch of other Al Kerrs, Boys, Noeleens and doctors from Bangkok fronting up money for project number 3 - somewhere over the rainbow.
2012-08-11| Spike saysTwo years ago Khun Boy commented “Bacause I been to look their project in BKK…very nice coz they are finished now…will transfer soon and the design is similar to the Koral Pattayou..but In Bkk have 6 building ….the name is Baannavatara…” Baan Navatara does indeed seem to be complete, and was so long before the floods came along. Plus, if you look at the developer of Baan Navatara’s website, it has The Koral as one of their developments in the heading area; but not listed in the main body of the site. Ain’t going to happen. http://www.baanrajprasong.com/projects.html
2012-08-14| Spike saysAn update: 2012_08_koral-gardens