Purportedly magic Jew

I am not sure how I survived so many years sitting in an office, being forced to address issues that were of no importance to me, for people I did not respect (there were some exceptions; and if you are one of my ex-bosses, you were one of them). There were a few mitigating factors. I worked with some amusing people, I lived in some interesting places, and there were endless opportunities for mischief in the form of disruptive emails.

Naturally everything I did was to the highest standards of professionalism, sensitive to gender and culture related issues and forever mindful of health and safety (Ed: Get on with it). But there were just too many stupid initiatives, arrogant twats and annoying drilling managers (if you happen to be a drilling manager; not you), that it would have been impolite not to wade in and hand out some abuse, disguised as constructive criticism. So I did.

Many a morning was spent over coffee and a keyboard, honing a missive designed to strike fear and loathing into the heart of the recipient; and thus prompting a reply that could in turn be responded to with increased venom; all in the name of increasing shareholder value and honouring our commitments to society (Ed: Stop it). This email jousting became a regular part of the working week, a welcome respite from the endless bullshit which qualified as “working”. I like to feel that I became quite good at it and that it was responsible for engendering the love of writing which nowadays makes me enjoy producing the sort of bollocks you are reading right now.

But any skills I may have are as nothing compared to the email maestro that is Mr. David Thorne. David is an Australian, single-parent, designer with a flair for email confrontations which he kindly reproduces on his website. The latest offering involves a request for his son to attend a play which explains Easter. He responds that he will give permission provided that “all references to ‘Jesus’ are replaced with the term ‘Purportedly Magic Jew.’” The correspondence goes downhill from there.

i don’t generally recommend other websites, you are more than capable of finding what you need on the wide wide world of web; but I strongly recommend a visit to 27b/6. It will take you couple of hours to read all the excellent offerings, time you would otherwise have spent being abusive to someone at work, albeit in a paradigm shifting and out of the box thinking sort of way (Ed: OK, you’re finished).

Comments 🔗

2010-03-22 | Antz says

Spike old chap, the weblinks you provide here don’t appear to work…. I get told that “Apache is working on my cPanel” which is great, but I need a translation into English…..

2010-03-22 | Spike says

Translates as: His site is down. Please try later. Possibly crashed as a result of the massive hit count following Pattaya Days exposure. Probably not.

Anyway, it is very good when it is up. As we all know.

2010-03-22 | Savoy Brown says

Here is another of such websites containing entertaining email missives… Good for a chuckle or three…

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

2010-03-23 | Spike says

Thank you Mr. Brown. Indeed good for a chuckle, although not to the standard of 27b/6, which is now back online.

2010-03-23 | Qon says

27b/6 is PRICELESS. thanks ;)

2010-03-23 | Jock says

Have to agree … Aussies at their best … take no sh!t from anyone … even their own.

2010-03-23 | Billy says

Quite to the contrary Jock, Mr Thorne seems to have in Ozz an unlimited supply of dupes willing to take his shit and answer back politely, for a while anyway!!

If you remain unconvinced, try some of that stuff back in Alba :-)

2010-03-24 | genuinej says

Ta for suggesting visiting Mr. Thorne’s site. Highly ammusing stuff. So much better than your earlier recommendation, “Stanley’s Pictures”, which has turned out to be a home for very fat ex-pats, dreadful English (myself when he means me, isle when he means aisle. etc., etc.,) and model railways ad nauseam. Mobi’s become a boring twat as well, but at least he’s got the excuse of being an alcoholic. (same as me).

2010-03-24 | Wenthworth says

Jock you are incorrect. I am Australian and recently whilst driving I saw a sign for “Free sheep poo” on the roadside. I took a large bag for my garden but was sorely disappointed on returning to my 15th floor apartment to discover I have no garden. Billy could you advise of any of my fellow Antipodeans who would be willing to take my shit, none of my neighbours are prepared too.

2010-03-24 | Jamie says

Thanks, that wasted an hour of work time… which I had to catch up later, so could not leave early.

2010-03-24 | Jock says

Wentworth .. you are an Aussie …. you live on the 15th floor … presumaby you have 14 neighbours below you who will have no idea where all that sh!t came from …

…. hopefully one or two are Kiwis ….

… or maybe Sassenachs … do you live above Spike ??