Much celebration over on Billy’s blog where, after a lifetime of trying, he has finally persuaded our previously mutual employer that he should be released into the welcoming arms of early retirement. Well done that man, but let me assure him that retirement is not just the carpet slippers and the hours spent staring blankly into space that you might be looking forward to. It’s much harder work than that.
Today was a fairly typical day in my retired life. The recent trip with she who must be obeyed, followed immediately by seven days of polo photography, followed immediately by four days of windsurfing; meant that the Spike domestic agenda had been somewhat neglected. A couple of e-mails and an SMS reminded me that there were bills to be paid, and the cats seemed to be indicating that they were out of food.
First the car insurance, a reminder for which had arrived a month or so ago, far too early to worry about so I dropped it into a drawer and forgot about it until a mail arrived telling me I was about to be uninsured. Given my propensity for destroying vehicles and myself, I thought it wise to renew on time. While foraging in the drawer I also found some condo service bills, two telephone bills, an electricity bill and a small embroidered mouse. I threw away the mouse and headed out to pay all the bills.
The cat food was more difficult. These are executive cats which only eat a certain type of food (the expensive type), and they turn up their noses at fish treats, milk and all the other stuff that cats are meant to enjoy. So it took me three pet shops before I found what I needed.
All this bill paying and cat food procurement made me quite weary, so coffee and some lunch before returning home.
Time to sand a table! We have a basic wooden table which I managed to substantially damage during my radio-controlled model-making phase and it is now covered in dried epoxy, soldering burns, screwdriver indentations and a Turin shroud-style likeness of Jesus. Hallelujah! I persuaded the maid to help carry the table out onto the balcony, and then indicated that we should tip it over the edge so it could plummet the many floors to the swimming pool. I don’t think she will stay with us for long.
Brought the electric sander out to play and in half an hour there was substantially less table and a big pile of sawdust; job well done. She who must be obeyed thinks I am doing this to prepare the table for covering with pretty tiles. Actually I am doing it so it makes a good surface onto which I can screw my Xbox racing wheel.
Suitably smothered in sawdust, it seemed a good opportunity to launch into a long-outstanding project, the cutting of holes in my desk to install air vents to help cool my computer. Out with the power saw and an hour or so of swearing and more sawdust, the job was done. No time for a shower before she who must be obeyed returned from work and suggested dinner.
Now, correct me if I am wrong; but that is a much more activity-packed day than I would undertake when employed. Then, the main challenges were staying awake in meetings, managing the cup of coffee/toilet break balance and forwarding risque jokes to the likes of Camberley and Billy. Don’t recall an extensive use of power tools, and you had servants subordinates to go and pay your bills for you.
I tell you, if it wasn’t for the pension I would resign from this retirement job and go do something easier.
Comments 🔗
2009-11-28| Billy saysThat is nearly enough to convnce me to keep my nose to the grindstone … but not quite, as we don’t have cats :-)
2009-11-28| Camberley saysHell fire mate I thought my retirement work load was bad but that’s really tough. Since retiring I bought all the games my old computer could not run (having bought a computer that could) from Far Cry 2 to Modern Warfare 2, and I haven’ t even had time to take the wrappers off. Actually that is not strictly true I have loaded MW2 and run through the tutorial assault course enough times so as not to be off the bottom end of the competency scale.
Its not just the daily grind, there are other problems with retirement. When working there are things that seem unimportant at the time but their absence is keenly felt when they are not there. What, for example can replace the 06:12 morning alarm, or the 07:46 train to Waterloo where all the seats seem to have been designed for size zero 12 year olds? But really I think the greatest gap in my life after retiring is the complete absence of testosterone fuelled macho statements emanating from the mouths of babes and sucklings who really have no clue about the practicalities. I really don’t know how I am managing to cope. Good luck Billy you will need it.
2009-11-29| Billy saysYes, indeed, it is truly comforting to leave the Great Pecten’s future in such safe hands. Said as much to my 39 year old boss only the other day after having to explain why seismic acquisition on land was so expensive.