This morning, Jerry and I went to collect our new iPhones. I was looking forward to replacing my 1,000 baht piece of plastic crap, but there was one potential hurdle to overcome. For some inexplicable reason, True had decided that foreigners that wished to buy an iPhone had to provide evidence of a work permit. Now, to have a work permit I would have to work, and what is the point in doing that? However, armed with my retirement visa I felt I had a solid argument to present to the sales assistants:
So you won’t sell me a phone without a work permit?
Here is a copy of the tambien baan for my condo which I bought without a work permit.
Here is a copy of the book for my truck which I bought without a work permit.
Here is a piece of plastic crap from Nokia which I bought without a work permit.
I can go into the supermarket here and buy a TV and a washing machine and a computer and (continue listing hard goods till their eyes glaze over) without a work permit.
Now, sell me the sodding iPhone.
I should have been a lawyer.
In the event my masterful arguments were not required ‘cos they sold us the phones anyway. In fact the rather winsome sales assistant could not have been sweeter. I even tried to warn her that wearing a T-shirt sporting the slogan “I’m available” might garner her more attention than she wished, even if it did have a small logo of an iPhone underneath the tempting offer.
Jerry is an old-school Vista laptop don’t give me any of that Apple crap sort of guy, so it was back to my place for a spot of indoctrination training. Once we had got past a legion of Vista pop-ups telling us stuff we didn’t want to know, and his rather large fingers had coped with swiping and clicking, he was away; although his musical choice of Frank Sinatra and easy listening was something of a disappointment.
While all this was going on, she who must be obeyed had headed to Bangkok for the day. I had assumed it was for a spot of shopping, but she revealed that she was actually going to see a fortune teller. Oh dear. I am always concerned by such consultations, in case she is told things which potentially put me in a bad light, and I then have to defend myself against bollocks spouted by someone who has never met me.
The seer of choice was an Englishwoman called Angela who apparently is really really good, and therefore charges a really really high price for the pleasure of an hour of her time. And I have to agree, she is excellent. Not only did she seem to know things about my wife and myself which it would be rather hard to guess; but more importantly she said loads of good stuff about me which I can use to bolster my reputation at times of marital stress. She who must be obeyed was extra-pleased to see me when she got home, so that was nice. Fortune tellers called Angela, I am all for them.
The day was rounded off nicely by the discovery of a new album by Placebo and the downloading of same, together with the Imogen Heap’s gorgeous new offering onto my new phone; which I have already dropped once but have yet to lose.
Life can be so pleasant. And no work tomorrow because I don’t have a work permit.
Comments 🔗
2009-09-07| jj saysyawn u r a twit
thailand better without people like u
2009-09-07| Spike saysI agree, totally boring, yawn-inducing stuff. But it’s alright for you, you don’t even have to read it if you don’t want to. Imagine having to live this shitty life day after day. It’s a trial I can tell you.
2009-09-08| Snowy saysSorry Spike but …………. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB7M8cVyBPg&feature=related
All your fault. In my quest to find the ultimate lavatory seat I ended up in Ikea ………… http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=aNcaaehKaC8
As a public service I do not recommend you search for their other songs it just gets worse.
What do they say about Lancashire …. " a great place to be from !!!"
Snowy
(In Scotland, wet & cold, days getting shorter, full of ugly women, men in skirts and anemic black pudding …. !!!)
2009-09-09| Spike saysI’m from the East.