In a previous life I lived in Kuala Lumpur and, for reasons that escape me, I purchased a thirty two year old MG Midget for my daily commute. Under normal circumstances I would not be seen dead anywhere near such a car, but in the context of an Asian environment, it was a weird kind of fun. There was no aircon of course, so you had to keep moving and have the hood down. If you stopped in traffic for more than a few minutes both you and the radiator would boil over. The hood took at least ten minutes to erect, so if you were caught in a downpour you got soaked. I called it “character”.
With a British colonial history, it was surprisingly easy to find spare parts in Malaysia. Dingy garages run by old men sustained entirely by nicotine, contained a treasure troves of bits that could be obtained for not a lot of money. But some bits were more elusive, which is why I found myself at Heathrow airport with a pair of MG suspension leaf springs wrapped in newspaper. Weighing it at around 20 kilos, checking them in together with my suitcase of dirty clothes would mean a substantial excess luggage charge, so it seemed only reasonable that I should take them hand baggage.
Of course this was before the days when the foreign policy of certain countries served as an encouragement for people to fly planes into buildings; even so I was a little unsure as to the reception I would receive. I staggered up to the X-Ray belt, attempting to give the impression that my one metre length of newspaper was so light that it contained a bouquet of flowers. Any pretence was ruined when I dropped them onto the belt and the whole machine crashed and shuddered. “Blimey mate, wot you got in the there?” enquired the handler at the front of the belt. I explained the contents. The handler shouted down to the officer manning the monitor, “it’s OK Bert, just some leaf springs here”, as if substantial car components were regular visitors to his belt. Maybe they were, because they didn’t even bother peeling off the paper to check. Apart from requiring help from two stewardesses to load them into the overhead locker, the rest of the journey went smoothy.
I was reminded of this when I did a trial pack of the equipment I need to take to India next week for my photo assignment. Even keeping lenses to a minimum, I need:
Don’t feel I can subject any of this to the rigours of checked-in baggage, or the light-fingered attention of the Bangkok airport baggage handlers; so it must all accompany me. The good news is that it will all fit within a regulation size carry-on bag. The bad news is that the bag will weigh in excess of fifteen kilos.
Whether or not this can be finessed through the various checks that exist in airports nowadays remains to be seen. If challenged I will explain that it is slightly lighter than the leaf springs I carried “last time”. Should do the trick.