When I die, it will be hard for people to find positive things to say about me. “Had a clever son (mother’s genes I expect)”, may be the best they can manage. But here is something else they can say if pushed by the investigating officer (I am expecting a controversial passing):
“When you used ’two manky hookers and a racist dwarf’ as a search term in Google, his blog was the second listed result”.
Amazing eh? What an achievement. Sadly the target post is not one of my best, but we won’t let that downgrade the achievement.
And I know this how? Because at least once a week someone arrives here having used that very search term in Google. And almost daily someone lands unexpectedly at Pattaya Days using a search which makes you wonder at their motivations, if not their mental health.
These searches are listed in my blog statistics and there is usually something to raise a smile and a sense of wonder; so I would like to share them with you. There are two ways of doing that.
The first would be to give you the password to the admin area (it’s wobblybottom69, you could never guess it), but that would give you full access to maintain the site. Obviously you would not do anything damaging; but what about the guy who has just arrived here using the search phrase “pizza crust stuck in my bum”? He’s the sort of guy who would change the cover photo to one of a lady with large mammaries and write a post saying “Spike is an idiot. Lalalalalala. True.” and we wouldn’t want that would we, apart from the large mammaries bit.
The second way is to have a new area in the sidebar called “Recent Searches” which I will regularly update with unusual searches that have inadvertently brought people here.
And verily the second way was implemented. And it was good.
Comments 🔗
2009-07-22| Pete saysYou realise we are going to have to google these phrases ourselves now, just to see exactly how they ended up indexing your page! WTF is mungiki anyway??
2009-07-22| Spike saysHello Kenya! 2009_05_kenya-sex-terrorism-shock-horror-probe-mungiki-monster
2009-07-22| Pete saysI did google mungiki, and ended up with no end of Kenya links. If you google ‘mungiki in switzerland’ and add a +pattaya, the first link is my comment on your “Kenya sex tourism” entry.
I’m famous!!! (also, I have a bad memory)
2009-07-23| Spike saysDon’t worry, I couldn’t remember the Mungiki post either.
Of course, if you google “mungkik in switzerland” now, Pattaya Days is straight in at number 2, thanks to the entry in “recent searches”.
2009-07-23| Billy saysAh, the observer affecting the observed, Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle clearly in action here …
2009-07-23| Pete saysI just can’t quite understand why someone would be googling for a Kenyan politico-religious-criminal cult in Switzerland.
On the other hand, I can’t quite understand why someone would type this phrase into a search engine either:- google for “why are these st” and see the drop-down suggestion box
2009-07-23| Pete saysSorry - it should read “what are these st” not why
2009-07-23| Spike saysBecause they want to order the book?
2009-07-23| Spike saysAh, the observer affecting the observed, Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle clearly in action here …
Yes, and I think I have been set up judging by one of today’s searches.
2009-07-23| Billy saysThat will be Pattaya poo, then??
2009-07-24| Spike saysNo. And I know it was you. Very clever, but future efforts will be ignored.