Back in the old country you could stroll into a garage, buy a car, and drive away with a proper registration plate. In thailand you can do the strolling, buying and driving away things; but attached to your car will be a pair of red licence plates. These are owned by the garage and you will have to drive on them until your own plates are ready, a process that can take months.
Having a red plates allows you to show off that you have a new car, which means that someone will probably put a scratch down the side to put you right for being a big showoff. In addition, to deter people from driving on red plates for ever and thereby avoiding road tax, there are restrictions on usage; the most annoying being that you are not allowed to drive during the hours of darkness.
Of course everyone ignores this, including me. So when I was driving back from Bangkok last night it was no surprise to be stopped by a policeman who was hanging around at the toll booth; just waiting for someone like me to come along.
I wound down the window and wished him the most pleasant of evenings.
Sunshine only, he said.
Pardon?
Sunshine only (and he points in the general direction of the front number plate while gazing up at the sky to indicate where the sunshine would come from if it wasn’t 2100).
Ah, yes. Sorry.
At this point I avoided any further unpleasantness involving driving licence inspections and pretending to fill out forms, by waving 100 baht under his nose. He beamed, took the note and said something in Thai along the lines of “that will do nicely sir, please move along and I hope I catch you doing the same thing tomorrow evening.”
Fairly painless, but a nuisance, and I wondered again why it takes the combination of Mitsubishi and the government nearly three months to still not give me my own plates. It’s not like I haven’t done my bit.
When you buy a car they need a barrowload of documents from you, all of which have a role to play in the lengthy registration process. I gave them everything they needed and waited. And waited. After a month or so they called she who must be obeyed, who then called me.
They want a copy of the page of your passport with the visa on it.
I already gave them that.
They need it again.
Why?
Because it has expired and so they want another copy.
pause
The visa hasn’t expired, and if it had, giving them another copy would be pointless because it is a copy of the same document which they think has expired.
So are you going to give them a copy?
No.
I put down the phone and waiting for it to ring again. Clearly the story from Mitsubishi was weapons-grade bullshit, a pathetic attempt to save face by inventing a reason which was totally devoid of logic.
The phone rings again and it is she who must be obeyed.
They want a copy of the page of your passport with the visa on it.
I already gave them that.
They need it again.
Why?
Because they lost the first one.
Fine, I will drop it off this afternoon.
Of course by being awkward, I made them own up and thereby lose face. Since then there has been silence and I know what they are up to. My visa DOES actually expire next week. Shortly afterwards I will get the call:
They want a copy of the page of your passport with the visa on it.
I already gave them that.
They need it again.
Why?
Because it has expired and so they want another copy.
Bastards.