She who must be obeyed shares my opinion that Valentine’s day is nothing more than a shameful marketing exercise and we will not partake of such nonsense. However, I expect that deep down she would like a little gift to mark the occasion, so before going to Bangkok this morning I raided her perfume collection to see what was popular (i.e. on the shelf but not much left).
I then ventured amongst the ladyboys at the cosmetic counters in The Emporium and found a suitable bottle. My salesperson was most insistent I should try some male fragrances and, in spite of my protestations, proceeded to attack me with a variety of foul smelling liquids. When I left the shop I smelled like something you spray in the toilet after a particularly aggressive bowel movement, or maybe I smelled like a particularly aggressive bowel movement. Either way, it was bad.
Back home I quickly showered before the return of she who must be obeyed, and duly presented her with her non-Valentine’s day present (thought it would be appropriate to give it on non-Valentine’s day). She was sufficiently delighted and most impressed at my perfume collection rummaging skills.
She then presented me with one baht.
Why are you giving me one baht?
Because we Thais believe that if someone gives you perfume you must give them some money, or else the couple will fall out.
How can that possibly be true?
It’s been proven!
It’s at this point where I have learned not to embark upon a fruitless discussion in an attempt to pinpoint the series of sociological experiments which confirmed this to be a scientific fact; any more than I could find experiments that prove 13 is unlucky. It’s just one of a thousand Thai superstitions and you just learn to live with them.
Neither did I proffer the receipt and suggest that giving me the remaining 4,699 baht of the cost would make it absolutely certain that we would not fall out. We Spikes believe that trying to get flippant with she who must be obeyed is a sure path to a clip round the head.
It’s been proven.