If it's good enough for Jennifer Aniston

There are two options for losing weight:

1. Cut off a limb
2. Burn more calories than you consume.

Given that option 1 is considered not viable by most people, we are left with option 2. Simply put, eat less and exercise more and the weight will come down. But for many people that is far too difficult. We like to eat, we hate to exercise, we get fatter. Well, not me obviously; but other people. She who must be obeyed for example. She has grown horizontally considerably since we first met and she keeps planning to do something about it. This usually involves eating the same amount, and doing the same amount of exercise (i.e. none), but augmented with things which are said to make a difference. Fibre filled pills, protein drinks, gym membership (she was very surprised to find that the latter made no difference at all if you don’t actually go to the gym and do stuff).

None of these amazing treatments made any difference, so tonight she embarked on yet another. Or rather she didn’t; because she said if I wrote about it in my blog she would wreak great vengeance upon me. So it wasn’t her, it was someone else who we saw in the supermarket buying pots of baby food which they intend eating instead of normal food. This person said they were going to try it for a week, but when they saw the disgusting flavours and tiny pots, they only bought two of them; one of which may be sampled and the other will just disappear, perhaps donated to a passing baby.

So where did this diet idea come from? I asked (of the stranger in the supermarket you understand).

It was in a magazine, Jennifer Aniston did it.

Ah, and did she also happen to exercise during this fantastic diet plan?

Oh yes.

Probably for several hours with a personal trainer?

Probably.

Maybe if you did that, you wouldn’t need to eat baby food?

For that I got a withering look and a bill for 73 bahts worth of mushed prune and apple.

Comments 🔗

2010-05-11 | Antone Olewine says

There has been a lot of nasty comments concerning Jennifer Aniston doing the rounds on the world wide web of late. I consider she appears terrific, especially after losing a few kilos.

2010-05-11 | Billy says

Dear Antoine, please fuck off back to wherever you came from .. kind regards, Billy

ps it will make you blind, stop it

2010-05-12 | Spike says

Hi Antone, Did you know that your name is an anagram of “one new toenail”?

Jennifer Aniston is an anagram of “fannies rent join”, proof if any were needed, that she is a total bitch.