Well, that title should ensure a healthy jump in search engine hits…..
But to justify the somewhat ambiguous heading, here they are:
Having a good sleep having spent the previous 12 hours annoying the hell out of me.
The interference starts when I settle down to sleep. One cat takes up station next to my feet, while the other one waits until my legs appear to have settled down for the night before crawling on top of them and pushing them around till she gets comfortable. Last night I slept fitfully, and each time I awoke I was aware of a cat jammed up against my legs, a cat which then re-jammed itself within two minutes of my moving my legs to another position. I woke up exhausted.
To the toilet for my morning ablutions where the cat who has not spent the night annoying my legs comes in and decides it needs a lot of stroking, and then clambers onto my washbasin to seek any stray water (ignoring the plentiful supply provided elsewhere). Meanwhile the leg abusing cat has been assigned to annoying she who must be obeyed, by leaping into the shower cabinet when she wants to use it and leaping back in again having been ejected.
Off to make breakfast which is interrupted by noisy requests for lamb snacks which sit in a cupboard next to the fridge. Having handed out snacks I am then bothered for a refill of the official cat food bowls. Then I have to feed the fish on the patio, and the cats take up station for an obligatory ten seconds during which they are allowed to raid the fish food container.
Time for my stretching exercises. This is a new and fulfilling experience for the cats who climb over me or pursue my hands wherever they might be in order to demand stroking. So much for being in the moment, focusing on my body, feeling my muscles etc.
Stretching complete, a rejected bra from she who must be obeyed is dragged out from beneath a sofa and presented to me. For some perverted reason, they like she who must be obeyed’s underwear and will try to remove same from the washing line. So they are give cast off clothing to play with, and it is my job to swing the bra round the living room while they leap over the furniture in an orgy of destruction. I wonder how a video of this would rate on YouTube.
Playtime over, it is not unusual for one of them to throw up on a rug, just to make sure I have something useful to do with my time.
It is not until I finally manage to escape the condo that they settle down for a hard earned sleep in a convenient corner. They will then remain inert until the evening, when fresh demands for food and entertainment are made and preparations discussed for another night of leg clamping.
Pattaya pussies are a little like the signs in crap ornament shops: “Delightful to look at, lovely to hold; but if you let one in your home they’ll fuck up your life.” My friend Nik tells me that the same applies to bar girls.
Comments 🔗
2009-01-21| Billy saysNow, you may not like this, and SWMBO will probably like it even less, however, here it is:
Feed the fish slow acting poison stuff
Encourage the cats to do what cats have been doing ti fish for, well, like, forever
Have them all stuffed and put on the wall
Yeah, I know, a bit unfeeling right, but think of the advantages, sleep every night and stuff. Anyway, just a thought.
2009-01-22| Spike saysI don’t like it. They may cause chaos on a daily basis, but they have huge and engaging personalities, and provide amusement and companionship such that life would be diminished without them.
Good idea about murdering the fish though.